For a long time, my mind would be racing with thoughts about all kinds of past problems especially involving the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
All the incessant non-stop thoughts were pretty close to being a form of torture ----- I could not stop myself from having something going through my mind on the same old subject matter over and over and over again.
Well ------ I'm noticing more recently that I'm finally finding mental peace.
I'm pretty sure I am actually.
Last night I was able to just lay in bed and not think about anything. And I didn't need any ASMR videos or noise machine to help fall asleep or anything.
So::: if the most recent mental trend in my brain continues ---- I should be able to live my life now without all those thoughts in my head about the same old things over and over again.
It's true that I've had some moments where I think about the issues and I can't understand and I feel messed up about it ------
But I do have some mental peace now ---- where i don't need to have any "same old thought" passing through my head over and over again. I can just sit there and not think about anything --- which is quite nice.
I can choose to think about things I want to think about, but I'm not forced to think about it. And I'm not forced to think about nothing either.
Mental freedom and peace. Hooray.
It took a VERY LONG TIME to finally achieve this state of being ---- after years and years of having problems and psychiatric treatment.