So::: a few days ago I started feeling well enough and then seeing my brother do poorly enough that I started to believe in freedom rather than equality.
Well, some equalization has come along.
Though I'm still doing better than when my sickness was at its worst many years ago ----
today I learned another new song on the Harmonica, and then I could feel my brain start to - how do I explain this?
As a schizophrenic, part of my problem is that I may be skilled and expert at something, but all of the sudden the information, the knowledge, the talent, will just disappear from my mind, and I'll draw a blank.
today this started to happen with my harmonica music, although it was only mild, especially because I was able to find the tabs again and re-practice myself.
But this is a problem. I learn so much, I think I'm doing so well --
Then wham, my brain starts to basically completely forrget everything I just learned, even though I was basically an expert just moments ago.
So::: I still have some kind of problem.
It felt almost as if there was a mystical force equalizing me with my brother, whose problems are a bit worse than my own.
A pity really. I try to pray for him to get better. anyway --- I don't need to say much about that situation. it is what ti is.
And yeah, I'm actually a little bit bugged that there seemed to be like a mystical force bringing me closer down to his level.
I was doing so well, and wham, I start losing my memories and expertise very quickly.
Can't he be equalized up to my level rather than me down to his? that would be nice.