Friday, November 29, 2019

Another Dream Last Night

So, a few days ago I mentioned a dream I had where I started floating into the sky where I was with Jesus, and then things started happening which are probably too graphic for this blog.


Last night I had another dream.


When I looked up the nature of this dream in a dream interpreter program I got from the App Store --- technically it's about something that's not so good.


There was something in my dream going on before the scene I'm about the mention ---- but I can't remember what it was -------


I just remember being rushed at by two angry dogs.


According to the dream interpretation journal, this is a very bad sign.


If there's any good news, it's this:::: the two angry dogs didn't even bite me.


I wrestled the first one between my legs so it couldn't attack ----- and the second dog attacked the first dog.


SO:::: I was being rushed at by two angry dogs in my dream ------ but neither of them actually bit me.


Is this good or bad?


It, however, might indicate some kind of difficult circumstance, maybe danger.


I just pray to God for good fortune.



And I feel it's too bad that I'm having dreams like this. I know they are days apart from each other ----- but seeing what I'm seeing in my two dreams thus far tells me something is wrong.



A good piece of news is I am well aware God loves me, he has blessed me greatly. That's a comfort.


Anyway ---- is it at all important to report disturbing dreams on this blog? Maybe, maybe not.


But I have these dreams and I don't like them ----- so I'm mentioning it as something I appear to be going through now.



NOTE:::::: I will mention that it's also very odd that I am having these dreams indicating some kind of misfortune, because over time my life has just been getting better and better. Very strange.

Sunday, November 24, 2019

Confused by Sheet Music Copyright

SO:::::

I did a search online to find out what the original Key of the Original and therefore Public Domain version of Good King Wenceslas was.


I found a website with Good King Wenceslas sheet music.


The website had the music in the key of G.


And it was copyrighted to some guy.


And then I noticed they had the music for the song in a bunch of other keys too ----- and I checked one --- copyrighted to the same guy.



So I looked at the book where I originally learned the song ---- in the key of G, copyrighted to a different company.



and then I looked online at an online sheet music shop where I've started buying sheet music:::: copyrighted to yet another different company.




OK ------ so we've got three different claimants all with their versions of the sheet music of Good King Wenceslas in G.



Three copyright claims, three pieces of sheet music. Same song.



Yeah --- I'm kind of confused here.



What is copyrighted and what isn't? Is playing Good King Wenceslas in G completely Public Domain in its entirety?


Is it just the version of the sheet music that's copyrighted?


I'm kind of confused.



I'm going to have to get some money to go to this one website that specifically sells Public Domain sheet music to find out what's OK and what's not.



But when everyone has their own copyright to essentially the same thing I'm getting really confused.


I guess the public domain sheet music store will be able to help ---- once I finally have funds available to buy the public domain sheet music.


We'll see. Things are just kind of really confusing here.


If I can get public domain sheet music to tell me what key I can play a song in ----- then it should be good for LBRY.



But I'm wondering if Good King Wenceslas in the key of G IS public domain, but three different groups all have copyrights on their own little pieces of paper depicting it. Who knows.


Just really confusing stuff when three different people claim copyright of essentially the same thing which would be public domain. Something like that.




My final note:::::


The book of music that I originally learned Good King Wenceslas in G from::::


It has guitar tablature for the song.


But in my opinion, they tablature for the song is really confusing and ultimately useless.


I basically took the notes of the music as given on the sheet music and invented my own way of playing the same notes, but in a different way than the tab.

My personal version of the tablature makes more sense.


The tablature given in the book of music was confusing and basically useless.


But yeah, anyway.

My Dream Last Night

I had a dream last night.

First time I think I've ever had a dream like this.



The dream starts basically with scenes of face-painting, it was like we were live-action-role-playing or something like that --------


and I was moving to grab a guitar -------



when I started to float. I began levitating higher and higher into the sky.


And I had this idea that I was with Jesus up there.


And, the dream turns very, very dark.


So bad in fact I don't think I can say what happens here.


Just intense graphic scenes of nastiness is all I'll say.


and I woke up.



I rolled over, tried to get more sleep.


I was thinking about how I might try playing Good King Wenceslas in the key of B ----- starting the song with a B and playing it like it's shown on the old music on Wikipedia --------



and as I was laying in bed, thinking about this, trying to go to sleep -------- I heard a voice in my bedroom say my name.


I acted like I didn't hear it ------ for surely I was hallucinating at that point.


Anyway.


I just thought I'd report my dream last night.


I've heard other people on Youtube report dreams of being taken up into the sky to be with Jesus ---- now I've had a similar type dream too.



and this is all the more interesting to post since I heard a hallucination say my name as I was going back to sleep.


Yeah.

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Preparing for Christmas

So:::


I was originally planning on playing some Public Domain Christmas music on LBRY for the Christmas season -------- but I'm realizing it might be a challenge to sort which arrangements of music are the original and public domain versions versus which ones are newly copyrighted transpositions ------ so I might have to not go ahead with that plan.



So::: I wrote my own Christmas poem, and tried putting it to music, and recording it.


Some parts of the song seem musical. But it also seems kind of like a very monotone chant kind of.


I've got work to do.


Even though, when played quickly, certain notes sound good ---- when you are playing them as slowly as I've been doing it doesn't sound right.


So:::: Played quickly, the tune might sound good. Played slowly, it sounds boring.

Maybe I shouldn't even try singing. I don' t know.


I'm just feeling like I'm lost about this music. To be legible in vocals it needs to be slow --- but then it sounds bad ------ for the music to sound like music it has to be faster.


I'm obviously not the best yet. Yeah, no.


UPDATE::::: November 21st 2019::::::

So, I did some research.

Two of the three Christmas Songs I learned are in the original key, as I've understood.

That means two of my three Christmas Songs are Public Domain. I'm pretty sure.

And I think that means I'll be able to play them.

The one I won't play, not yet at least, is Good King Wenceslas.

The version I know starts with a key of G.

The original starts with a key of F.

Because of this, I believe I risk infringing copyright if I play the G Wenceslas song.

But I can play two other songs well enough::: I found out what I learned matches the original publications, so I think I'm good there.


UPDATE:::: November 22nd 2019:::::

I was looking at Wikipedia for early manuscripts of Good King Wenceslas Sheet music.

It appears the tune appeared a long time ago with the first note being "B". So I guess that's not copyrighted anymore.

And if the first note of G is copyrighted ----- I wonder who holds the copyright, if anyone.

But two of the manuscripts of the song on Wikipedia have the player playing 4 notes at the same time, which is not what I'm going for on my guitar ------ so I guess I just have to assume what I learned might be copyrighted and I shouldn't play it.


But if I learn it in a key of B --- with the first note being a B ------ that version of the tune is absolutely ancient.


But considering how in my original research I thought I was a note of F where it started, and then I look it up on Wikipedia and a very old manuscript appears with B -------


I suppose I might have to do further research to find out if my two other Christmas Songs really are public domain or not.

Friday, November 15, 2019

Attention Seeking

Well, I've had a certain amount of success on LBRY ------ and now I'm turning into a bit of an attention seeker on the platform.


I realize some of my videos have gone through "their runs" and probably aren't so interesting anymore ------


and I realize that many people might not be in the mood to afford all my games -------


But after getting as much attention as I did get for a good while, well, it's like that phenomenon where you get a lot of likes on Facebook and then start wondering why people stopped liking.


Yeah ---- it's easy to feel loved when the tips are flowing, and it seems almost like a natural response to wonder why people "don't like me anymore" after the tips slow down.


It might just be a financial issue, I'm sure most people are kind and friendly ----- and that maybe I'm just not so interesting anymore.



But considering the history of my life -------- yeah -------- just like life is a mess for so many people my life was a bit of a mess too -------- so what are the implications of that?



But I guess financial difficulties may also be part of the issue------ not everyone has a bunch of video gmess they can sell on the platform like I can.


But yeah ---- getting good attention and then getting doldrums is causing me to, perhaps "irrationally", seek more attention.


I use the word irrationally because my mind just feels like its looking for that high again.


Maybe I just shouldn't worry about it.

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

The Bananatree Brothers: Eat Carrots is now available again

I only just now realized that I should make a blog post on this topic.

Last night I re-released The Bananatree Brothers: Eat Carrots.

It's Freeware.

It's on LBRY (go to LBRY.com to download the client).

It's on the @KrisAttfieldGAMES channel.

It requires two players both with a gamepad each, no keyboard or mouse.

It's for Mac Windows and Linux.

It's a pretty fun game.

Zero cost. But feel free to leave a tip.

Tuesday, November 12, 2019

Forgiving versus Condoning

So, I did a little bit of research.


A search online and a look at a dictionary reveal that Forgiveness IS SYNONYMOUS with condoning.



But a search asking if forgiveness is the same as condoning reveals multiple results that say Forgiveness IS NOT condoning.




I've been so confused about this topic for so long.



So:::: the two terms ARE synonymous but they mean different things or something and can't be looked at as the same things?


I just looked up the definition of "synonymous".


That word means that two words have the same meaning in the same language.



So::::: dictionaries/thesauruses say that forgiveness and condoning are synonymous, essentially that they have the same meaning,


while supposed experts who write articles on the subject say they are two different things?


I am kind of confused about this.



To me, it seems like there's a faction of humans who want to say forgiveness is purely an emotional state where an offender will still have to suffer punishment anyway, which is not what I understood from looking at the Bible.




Even if God forgives you, you will still go to hell anyway huh?


Does that make ANY SENSE at all??? No!



Anyway.  It's just really confusing.


The two words are considered synonymous, yet also considered to be two different things ---- which makes zero sense.

Monday, November 11, 2019

What is the trouble?

So:::

I watched a youtube video this morning about Crimes with Paranormal backstories.


I realize the story of my life is something like that ---- though not exactly the same.


The worst I actually did was be too horny ----- just like any man.


It was GOD who did all the worst stuff I perceived happened.


And because I'm schizophrenic I can't even know if my perceptions are actually real.


The whole thing is pretty insane.


I, myself, have almost always tried to be a good boy, deliberately. Doing what I think or what I'm supposed to understand is right.


I was educated in the church and educated with the rest of society. Those two moral systems can clash in a number of ways.


I often tried to do what I understood to be right ------ and to me, it seemed like so many people around me weren't even going to try to be good people, especially as children.


A good thing I took from Church teachings when I was a kid was to essentially attempt to be perfect ever since baptism. I was trying so hard. And yes ---- everything gets all messed up in this way and that ------- especially when you find out the church isn't quite right,


But I will say that I was usually trying so hard to understand morality and do the right thing.


When I saw bad behaviour in people around me, that only encouraged me to want to propagate morality.



And yeah ----- in the end it all gets messed up.



All the philosophy and behaviour going around made me have "The coherence of a mental patient".





So yeah ------- my life is a big mess, I was trying to be a good and moral person,


especially as the church encouraged me to follow that path ---- but the church itself became questionable.




If it's a crime to be horny, then that's the biggest crime I've probably physically committed.


God did all the worst stuff unless my perceptions of reality are whacko.



and yeah, I think I did get haunted ------- sometimes I wonder about lights I notice, while in my early 20s I would have sex with ghosts. Yeah.



Nothing makes sense about this to anyone I'm sure.




A church that taught the miraculous reality that sent me to doctors who don't believe in miracles.
(I should point out that the D&C actually says you shouldn't do that).


Nothing made sense.


I try to do the right thing with my life and efforts. Sometimes situations in life just aren't very good or don't make any sense. Yeah.



Of course, Linkin Park says "I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter" ---- so who knows.

Saturday, November 2, 2019

I've learned what the GAIN knob does

So:: I've had my electric guitar and its amp for a number of months now,

and I was able to figure out early on that gain "controlled the volume" on the OverDrive --------

But there is also a regular Volume knob on the amp ---------



And the other evening I watched a Youtube video that highlighted a guitarist's ignorance about the actual function of gain, the person in the video supposing it's a volume knob.


So::: I asked a search engine what the Gain knob does.


The search engine took me to Fender who explained it's a control for the level of distortion.


So, excited, I headed to my bedroom and set volume really low, but set the gain to really high ----


and I played ---- Yay!!!


Well, it was just exciting to hear something like that come out.


For a long time, I thought I would actually have to buy a pedal to get such sound --- but now I don't have to. The power of education.

The Second Time this has happened now

In a previous post from a few months ago, I told a story ----

The same kind of story happened again last night.


Last night I was laying in bed, trying to go to sleep ---- but I felt, well, horny. I just had this annoying feeling down there that was telling me to have sex.


I'm actually pretty annoyed with that requirement of my physiology. I am getting so tired of those feelings.


I asked the question in my mind: "Why does God make me feel this way?"


Shortly after asking that question in my mind, the feeling disappeared. No more horny. Still no such feeling after a night of sleep.




On the occasion from a few months ago the thought I thought was "There's a ghost molesting me" --- shortly after which the feeling disappeared.




But yeah ----- it appears, in my experience, that if you think a thought or telepathically think a thought accusing a Ghost or God of sexually molesting you, twice now the horny feelings disappear shortly after you think the thought.




But seriously:::: those feelings have been such a problem for me ever since my grandmother died ------ and I'm just getting really, really tired of them.


So it's interesting how simply thinking such thoughts makes the feelings go away.



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I suppose I could mention, in other news, that in the past few weeks I've learned quite a bit more music on guitar.

I know enough music now that I can't even remember all the titles I know all at once I think. Yay.