Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Feeling Heartbroken

I'm back to feeling heartbroken again.

I feel literally heartbroken.

Not any really big bad events in my own personal life recently,

I just happen to live with memories of how bad things got in my life, and how wrong it was --- and if there was a solution it was not easily found.

And then there's all the evil that happens in the rest of the world too.

It's all heartbreaking.

The reason I'm writing this post is because back years ago, when I was initially introduced to psychiatry,

I was told they would put me on drugs to "make me feel better".

But with all the evil in the world ----- is it really appropriate to feel good about all that evil?

Personally, I don't think so. Something doesn't seem right about that.

I can understand why one wouldn't want to feel this way ---- it's not a pleasant feeling ------

And I heard females are very much feelings-based type people so maybe they are especially bummed out by such feelings --------

But though these feelings of heartbrokenness aren't pleasant ----- it's NOT WRONG to feel this way.

I think it may actually be appropriate to feel this way, with all the evil in my lifetime, and all the evil in the world.

Things went very wrong in my life. I thank God I was given the wisdom to do my best and be as good as I could possibly be ---- because with how bad things were if I wasn't really on-the-ball then things would have been way more screwed up.

Though feelings of heartbrokenness aren't pleasant ---- they ARE appropriate.

Taking drugs to try to feel better about an evil world doesn't fit me very well in how I think.

So it's just kind of interesting how I was being forced on drugs either to a) make me feel better (inappropriate) b) make me disbelieve in God (also wrong) or c) force a change in my behaviour (and what's wrong with this is my behaviour only became that way in response to initially being forced on drugs).

Psychiatry did do me some good  ---- there was some good in it ------ but it wasn't the drugs or the drugging that was the good stuff.

The good stuff was actual logical reasoning and discussion about the issues. Not the drugs.

But yeah, anway ---- I literally feel heartbroken about everything.

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