So::: for an atheist, this blog post might seem way out in left field -- so you've been warned about how I spiritually see reality.
WARNING:::: This blog post discusses things of a sexual nature, and may seem "off" to some readers. You've been advised. Avert your eyes if that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable.
One of my personal claims about my own life is that I only started masturbating because I was sexually molested by a ghost shortly after my grandmother died in 1998.
Of course, nobody wants anyone to be blamed for sexually molesting me --- especially in a highly Mormon family -------
but the simple truth is that initially, I DID NOT CHOOSE TO MASTURBATE.
I made no effort to choose to do such a thing.
In fact, I was trying to choose not to do it as it was happening.
But ---- if a ghost molested me ---- the Church can't let the ghost be blamed, and though it wasn't my own choice I get punished for a sin next to murder simply because I started feeling way too horny.
Anyway ------ Just a moment ago this evening I experienced some evidence that there's some possibility of truth to my claim of being molested by a ghost.
For a good long while now ---- I've enjoyed NOT feeling horny.
But as I lay in bed, looking at my iPad ------- I started feeling pretty horny.
I simply sent out a telepathic thought ----- "I feel like I'm being molested by a ghost right now".
Very quickly ----- I mean, it was like magic -------- the horny feelings just vanished, they disappeared.
I really enjoy when I'm not addicted to sex. I want sex to go away.
Feeling those horny feelings has never been good for me.
It's interesting how just moments ago telepathically thinking the thought "I'm being molested by a ghost right now" very quickly, somehow, disappeared the horny feelings.
And I feel normal again. No need to have sex.
Yeah ---- that's evidence that there is some kind of spiritual or magical reality that suggests I really may have been sexually molested as a kid ---- whether it be somehow spiritual or magical.
If it really is just hormones, what I think should have no effect on how horny I feel.
And typically ------- those horny feelings don't go away until I've finished jerking off.
So::::: There really is a magical reality ----- I just needed to telepathically cry "wolf!" and quickly the horny feelings went away.
In a sense it's too bad that the church has to blame me for a sin next to murder simply because I was molested by a ghost.
But then again ----- some Youtube videos have helped me realize that in the minds of the church members, my sister who repetitively verbally abused me and my brother as children is way less sinful than me with my masturbation.
All that name calling and bearing false witness was apparently more acceptable to the Lord than the guy who got sexually molested by a ghost.
So yeah ----- I don't see why I would really want to be with those people.
If I was suffering from a ghostly sexual abuse problem ---- it wasn't going to be solved by a church that didn't allow for a ghost to be blamed. It's that simple.
You'd think with all the church doctrine about spirits and devils and baptism for the dead and all that ----
Claiming you've been molested by a ghost or demon would be a thing in the church -------
but it actually wasn't.
The idea fits with the whole narrative of the mythology ----- but they still didn't accept that as an explanation for how I lost my chastity.