Monday, April 15, 2019

Mental Clarity

For a long time, I've been accused of being totally crazy or insane or whatever.

I look at it this way:::: I was the smartest kid in school for a very long time, so maybe I have a normal brain but was raised in a false belief system and many years of abuse took their toll on my psyche.

Am I insane? Or am I normal and healthy and just having side effects from all the wrong things people have done to me?

Anyway ------ I feel I've been having a moment of clarity for the past while.

The LDS Church told me I'd witness and perform miracles.

And then they forced me on psychiatric medication because I believed in miracles.

Obviously, something is very wrong here.

Let's look at some of the LDS Church rules or beliefs as I experienced them in my life, and see if they make any sense:::

1) You aren't allowed to be friends with your friends.
-Not only is this technically illegal it's also very unkind.
-No points for the church here.

2) Masturbation is forbidden.
-The church had me as unforgiven for 8 years because of this "sin".
-The church NEVER forgave my brother for this sin.
-Is this really realistic? Especially when the church hasn't provided anyone to have sex with?
-Looks like a pointless, senseless rule
-No points for the church here.

3) The church has a history of racism.
-Anyone with a brain should be able to tell that this church is completely unreasonable when it teaches some of the things it used to teach.
-No points for the church here.

4) Rock and Roll is forbidden. Among many different musics which are forbidden.
-This also seems unreasonable to me.
-Do I need to explain how dumb this is?
-No points for the church here.

5) Everything always has to be forgiven.
-I can easily demonstrate how wrong this teaching is.
-This teaching is really just abuse.
-No points for the church here.

Anyway ------ Simple fact is, I can easily think of 5 rules the church had that make very little sense.

I was raised in this church. And I was pretty much abused all along the way.

In that sense, I turned out insane for a while.

But my mind feels healthier now, and I can't help but feel that I was just a normal and healthy individual who was exposed to too much garbage and that had side effects.

The unfortunate thing is that though the church clearly can't really be true for so many different reasons (more than I've listed here) ----------

Yeah, some members of my family still follow that belief system and still haven't figured out how wrong it is. This is disappointing, but what am I supposed to do about it?

On the radio, I heard them say it's considered ABUSE to tell a woman the actual truth about her religion. This makes it very difficult to educate my Mom and Sisters.

Anyway. Yeah --- Miracles are real and God is real as far as I'm concerned ---- but The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was way out in left field. It wasn't exactly right in any way shape or form.

So, I'm thankful for my moment of mental clarity. I wish my family would figure this stuff out.

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