Last night I was thinking back to when I was a young man, growing up.
My Mom told me there were two things I just had to do with my life:::
1) Serve a Mission.
2) Get married.
I even remember my Mom must've realized how poorly my sister was treating me back then and had to deliberately take me aside to tell me to try to love women more so I actually would get married.
Anyway ----- I think it's my Mom's teachings that helped me try to make the deal with God::: in exchange for my exaltation (which entails marriage), I would serve God for the rest of my life.
And you know how well that turned out right?
Within a few years, the Bishop shot that WHOLE THING down.
It's basically what my Mom TOLD ME TO DO -------
But the Bishop decided he didn't want it.
I was given clear instructions, and I was trying to follow them, and BOOM --- the bishop changes his mind.
Yeah --- I'm just wondering how the "gospel" was a "gospel" (good word) when they'd treat me so poorly just because I'm a normal male with hormones.
If I wasn't supposed to masturbate, then why didn't they just tell me who to have sex with? I mean,
that's basically what your options are::: either diddle yourself to relieve the urges, or go have sex with someone.
Just weird how I was mistreated for diddling myself, but they provided no alternate route, while even taking away two potential paths I could have taken.
Anyway ----- this post is mostly the same old things I think about -----
The only difference is remembering that this whole thing began because my MOM WANTED IT -----
And then the Bishop decided to change her mind.
And when I wrote the book about the story about what happened::::: Somehow the church largely couldn't be bothered to actually pay me for it.
Unless the money is hidden in a secret account I've barely been told about.
yeah ---- it was an absolutely or mostly worthless experience.
Being given instructions for my life, and then the Bishop just turned that all around.
And people wouldn't even pay me for the story.
And if there is a secret bank account ------ it's really interesting how obfuscated that is and misunderstandable that whole situation can become.
You'd think people would have been able to pay me --- which means there really could be a secret account that I am barely knowledgable about.
The biggest indications I have for a "secret account" are ABM Receipts I saw, plus a certain email I received which could be thought of as spam, but roughly the numbers did calculate which meant maybe it was true.
And of course, even if my Injections nurse alluded to a belief that I am now a wealthy man ----- getting my parents to believe such is possible is a different story.
Yup ---- the whole thing is getting complicated ----- especially when my sources of information are very sketchy.