I was sitting, thinking this morning when I thought in a new direction on an old problem:::::
So:::: Even though I tried so hard to be a good boy, I was not perfect.
And one of the big problems I've had with the church is that the church never seemed to forgive me for ANYTHING I ever did wrong.
I even tried to make a deal with God where I would work for Him in exchange for that forgiveness ---- but the bishop shot that deal down.
Well, according to Spencer W Kimball, a past LDS prophet and Apostle ----- the name of his book was "The Miracle of Forgiveness".
According to historical church records:::: FORGIVENESS IS A MIRACLE.
My Patriarchal blessing told me I would witness and perform miracles.
So:::: whatever happened to that?
I was feeling very unhappy, so the church sent me to the psychiatrists.
And the psychiatrists forced me on drugs because I believed in miracles ---- I was NOT ALLOWED TO BELIEVE IN MIRACLES ------
AND THE CHURCH NEVER DEFENDED MY BELIEF IN MIRACLES.
So that's where the whole thing goes Kablooey.
Just like everyone else, I needed forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a miracle.
My patriarchal blessing told me I'd witness and perform miracles.
But then the Bishop decided I needed to obey psychiatric doctors who did not believe in miracles and the bishop would not even defend my belief in miracles.
SO:::: in the end, we could say this situation fell apart because the Bishop, or the church or some combination of the two were just not faithful in actually believing in miracles.
I know the Bishop would say the word "Forgive" all the time ---- but that word necessitates miracles ------ and the same Bishop wouldn't let me believe in miracles and wouldn't defend a belief in miracles ----- he just had me drugged for believing in things the church originally taught me.
This is where everything went wrong.
It was actually basically just a failure of the Bishop to follow his own religion.