Monday, March 4, 2019

A Life of No Rewards

I've noticed something about the life I'm living::: rather than living in a society or system where people are rewarded for good behavior or good work, we appear instead to be living in a system where "the squeaky wheel gets the oil".

What I mean is this:::

From very early in Elementary school all the way to grade 11 ---- I was a top student.

Was there any reward for being a top student? Very little --- not much I'm afraid --- in fact, rather than rewarding my good efforts, people seemed to just hate me for being one of the best.

From 2010 to today I've basically been working trying to sell books, video games, and more recently music.

Not much reward there either.

Yeah ----- the squeaky wheel gets the oil ----- this means that society only decided to reward me when everything was going to hell -------

Or in other words, I was abused so much in my life they gave me a disability benefit. I get money because of how badly people treated me.

And you know what? I'm told there were forces at play when I was initially given my benefit that didn't even want me to have control over my own finances!

I mean --- holy cow ----- all the work I do gets no reward, and when I'm a squeaky wheel the benefit given to me --- well, they were trying to make sure I didn't really actually benefit from it. HOLY CRAP!

Well, it goes without saying::::: My agreement with God was thus "In exchange for my exaltation I would serve God for the rest of my life".

Essentially, Avril Lavigne and friends were God's investment in my life to make me live a life of service to God -------

But true to the pattern, no, I'm not allowed to actually have a reward for my efforts, nor am I allowed to have my investment for future efforts.


The church really shot itself in the foot there.

Anyway ----- I was just thinking of things I could talk about, and this seemed like the most generalized observation I could make about my life's history.

Good work results in no reward.

Benefits for mistreatment --- people don't even want you to have that much.

And investment in future service wasn't allowed either.

Yeah ----- it's pretty pathetic how things have gone in my life.

People just don't make very good decisions I guess. But economists have known that for a while.

Two more things worth mentioning:::::

I was a top student in school. I was one of the best and brightest.

And look how much I got devalued.

If I was one of the best ----- and I was devalued that much ------- I have to observe that this does not reflect well on the rest of society. There's not much reason that a lesser person than me would be worth more than me.


It's interesting how there's always something else I would want to buy for this or that reason::::

New computer hardware, fancy headphones, ------ anyway --- the expenses go on and on and on ------

and for some reason, people just don't see fit to let me have reward or investment. I only barely got my benefits by the skin of my teeth, basically.

Isn't that so weird?

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