so:: I'm watching my Youtube stats ------ usually historically if I offered something for free, people would download it in droves. (OK -- 100 downloads of an ebook is "droves" in my head, while 100 video views on youtube are underwhelming)
Now that I'm Youtube ----- I've only got, basically, a trickle of interested people.
A trickle of people watching me on Youtube doesn't make me feel encouraged to publish on a streaming service.
Looking at what I know about my income, my advertising, everything ---- how much do people like me?
Looking back on my life, people never really liked me. I've always seemed to have problems, even if something was going well for me in one area, there'd be problems in another.
Right now I can think of three options for my options of making money and being a popular seller:::
1) People just don't like me, they never have, and my royalties are negligible. This is the most basic at-face-value way I see things.
BUT ------ there's more to the story:::::
2) Back several years ago, my disability income was only $1188CAD per month. After I wrote my books and did all my work, today my disability income is $1685CAD per month ------ which is a SUBSTANTIAL increase. What are the chances that the government takes what I earn and redistributes it monthly?
BUT ------ What about SPAM?
3) I know a lot of garbage email is never trusted, people don't like to think about it, but IF we were to accept my spam email at face value::::: Then I have a Swiss bank account with millions of dollars stashed away.
Yeah, I know, option #3 seems really way-out-there, and yes, it's easily understood to likely not be real, especially in my family where trust is ultra low and paranoia is high -----------
I know the Swiss bank account option seems to be unrealistic at face value -------- but I've spent the past 9 years of my life trying to sell things, and well, there's a certain level of believability in my mind that someone might have stashed my money in a Swiss bank account.
So:::: We don't really know if there is a Swiss bank account or not --- that's the kind of thing I might want a Lawyer to help me with --------but at face value, my family doesn't trust that at all, and it's just Junk mail to them.
Either people never liked me and still don't -----------
Or my earnings get redistributed through the disability payment system ------------
and according to my SPAM inbox, I have a Swiss bank account with millions stashed away.
Which is the right story to choose for my life narrative? Hahahaha.