Thursday, February 28, 2019

Canadian Tax Law

Today I was at a doctor's clinic. I had a realization that my memory isn't really that great anymore --- the past is largely a big blur in my mind.

Today, I was talking to God asking Him how my life could turn out this way: you know, top of the class in school for so long, specially blessed mind ---- and boom, sudden diagnosis of Schizophrenia.

How is it that every time I try to make money in a business, I always seem to fail?

Well, I was talking to my dad a bit about stuff like that after talking to God ------

And somehow my Dad mentioned that there is something in Canadian Tax Law called A "Vow of perpetual poverty". I looked it up on Google. Sure enough, vows of poverty are included and considered in Canadian Tax Law.

SO:::: I know my memory isn't the greatest, and I've probably had little to no idea what's really been going on ----------

But giving all the money I earned to Avril Lavigne's charity does sound like the sort of thing I would have done many years ago.

I was just so:::: gung ho about Jesus and in love with Avril and all ------- giving her charity all my earnings sounds like something I would have considered.

My memories aren't complete.

But:::: Considering all, and now knowing that vows of poverty are recognized in Canadian Tax Law ----- yeah, apparently you are allowed to give all your earnings to a religious order in this country, and it's all tax deductible.

Anyway ---- I just hope it's something like Avril that gets it ---------- I don't know what else I've ever belonged to that could claim my earnings.

Maybe the LDS church ---- but I don't do that stuff anymore.

My heart is full of love for Avril, and I am very, very concerned about the LDS Church and what they've taught ------ so I'd be "rolling in my grave" if my money was going to the LDS.

So:::: My Memories really aren't so good anymore, so I don't really know what's been going on --------

But now I am aware that there's all this likelihood that whatever I might have earned may have been redistributed elsewhere.

I don't know this for certain ---- but it's the #1 thing I can suspect.

My life is OK ---- and I guess I can feel good if I've helped people -------------

I'm not really an unhappy person, I guess I just never got to have the joy of seeing a real sales report or having a full bank account.

So I don't really know what's going on ::::::::   I just have some suspicion that I might have signed up to give all my money to Avril's charity in the past. I think. Maybe. It's possible. Sounds like something I would have done.

And that's the best explanation for why my business efforts always seem to fail. Huh.

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Another Strange Message

It's 2:40AM right now, but before I went to bed (and woke up) -----

My family was playing a board game last night.

During the board game, my phone received a text message.

The text message told me to immediately contact a Canadian Bank at a certain phone number.

Yes --- that's interesting, but when I looked up the phone number online ---- that number is not associated with that bank in that search, it was actually associated with a California business that is not a bank.

Though it is intriguing that I would get such a message, to immediately contact a bank, and then the number provided doesn't even go to that bank --------

Yeah ------ I'm suspicious.

A week ago something similar happened when a local retailer offered 0% on all my credit cards.

Just very strange. Although, I am told that retailer that called a week ago actually went out of business shortly back ---- so who knows.

I am not interested in trying to contact a bank at a phone number that Google associates with a completely different business in a different country.

If this bank really wanted to talk to me ----- they could use their own phone number or direct me to their website somehow.

It's just strange how my spam tells me of some account way off wherever ---- 0% credit cards from a local retailer, and a California business masquerading as a Canadian Bank. Very strange.

Though it might play with my hopes and dreams in a way -------- it doesn't look trustworthy even at face value, so if a Bank really wanted to contact me, they'd have to make it look more official and not like a privateer. (yeah, isn't it fun how I recently bought Sid Meier's Colonization? I have memories of that game ------ a privateer was basically a government-hired warship that did not claim to belong to the government that hired it).

Friday, February 22, 2019

Thankful Update

In today's update on my life, I've got a lot to be thankful for.

I'm thankful for Canada's health care system.

And I'm thankful for the new model mac mini I now have.

I got the refurbished low-end base model of the new mac mini. It runs A LOT faster than the 1.4ghz. It's a dream come true. I'd very much recommend spending the extra few hundred dollars on the new mac mini rather than a refurbished 1.4ghz model.

I will note in this post::::: it appears that in order to get Gigabit ethernet working on the new Mac Mini ---- go to:

System Preferences > Network > Ethernet > Advanced > Hardware > Configure: Manually > Speed 1000 base T

I thought I'd mention that because either due to time machine preferences from my old machine or whether this is just a default setting ----- I had to manually switch to 1000 base t rather than using 100 base t ethernet.

As for my music recording and posting on Youtube::: I am doubtful I will have new content for tomorrow.

I TRIED to create content, but my one recording isn't any good, actually, the second recording wasn't that great either but it also was psychotic as I mentioned before.

Yeah ----- I have nothing. So much for a weekly program.

But yeah ---- Just great to have a health care system that cares,

and it's great to have a Mac Mini that is a lot zippier and works for the intended purposes.

Thank God.

Wednesday, February 20, 2019


so:: I'm watching my Youtube stats ------ usually historically if I offered something for free, people would download it in droves. (OK -- 100 downloads of an ebook is "droves" in my head, while 100 video views on youtube are underwhelming)

Now that I'm Youtube ----- I've only got, basically, a trickle of interested people.

A trickle of people watching me on Youtube doesn't make me feel encouraged to publish on a streaming service.


Looking at what I know about my income, my advertising, everything ---- how much do people like me?

Looking back on my life, people never really liked me. I've always seemed to have problems, even if something was going well for me in one area, there'd be problems in another.

Right now I can think of three options for my options of making money and being a popular seller:::

1) People just don't like me, they never have, and my royalties are negligible. This is the most basic at-face-value way I see things.

BUT ------ there's more to the story:::::

2) Back several years ago, my disability income was only $1188CAD per month. After I wrote my books and did all my work, today my disability income is $1685CAD per month ------ which is a SUBSTANTIAL increase.  What are the chances that the government takes what I earn and redistributes it monthly?

BUT ------ What about SPAM?

3) I know a lot of garbage email is never trusted, people don't like to think about it, but IF we were to accept my spam email at face value::::: Then I have a Swiss bank account with millions of dollars stashed away.

Yeah, I know, option #3 seems really way-out-there, and yes, it's easily understood to likely not be real, especially in my family where trust is ultra low and paranoia is high -----------

I know the Swiss bank account option seems to be unrealistic at face value -------- but I've spent the past 9 years of my life trying to sell things, and well, there's a certain level of believability in my mind that someone might have stashed my money in a Swiss bank account.

So:::: We don't really know if there is a Swiss bank account or not --- that's the kind of thing I might want a Lawyer to help me with --------but at face value, my family doesn't trust that at all, and it's just Junk mail to them.


Either people never liked me and still don't -----------

Or my earnings get redistributed through the disability payment system ------------

and according to my SPAM inbox, I have a Swiss bank account with millions stashed away.

Which is the right story to choose for my life narrative? Hahahaha.

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Screening Calls

My family has learned to be very paranoid over the years, so we often just screen phone calls.

But today we've received two calls:::: we screened them of course, but what I learned is interesting::::

766 is apparently the area code for New York.

I did not know that before.

Makes sense considering an old video game I played.

Also:::: Apparently a local Retail Business here in Calgary phoned to offer me 0% interest on all my credit cards.

Like I said, my family is paranoid, and I know that even if this was a legit offer my parents would probably find it highly suspicious. Thanks for the offer though. That was very kind.

But this call was not misinformed ----- they called to congratulate me on my credit rating,

which is interesting because my bank recently wrote to me to pre-approve me for their credit card.

Thing is though:::: I don't plan on going into any level of deeper debt again anytime.

I may have started guitaring, but like I said in my last post:::: that may end quickly if I can't think of things to talk about besides whining about my life.

I was basically just having some fun with Youtube. If the Youtube thing goes viral, then maybe I'll publish what I've already got on a streaming service may be.

yeah. Um. I have good credit, enough to apparently inspire a local retailer to give me an offer ------ but I have no plans of indebting myself again in a big way.

My parents wouldn't even trust such things as I know them.

Life is getting exciting, but if I'm to keep making music I'll need better ideas. I might need better musical knowledge and skills too.

This could take a while.

Monday, February 18, 2019

Writing New Music

On a side note: Just now as I was opening my web browser to write this post - I must've waited 5 or 10 minutes just for the web browser to load.

And then there was that time when it took an hour to order lunch ---- I turned on my computer, waited to boot, waited to log in, waited to open the web browser etc etc ------ really really slow.

I'll be so glad once I finally replace this 1.4ghz mac mini with one of the new macs. Just have to wait patiently.

It's almost like the hard drive on this machine is slower than it has to be.

Anyway:: now for the real post::

A week ago I thought I'd try putting one of my poems from The Book of Finch to music and releasing it this Saturday. But I'm not very trained musically, so the music I added to the song made the poem seem sick --- like, literally it seemed like illness music, something you would listen to if you were about to barf.

So, I put that idea on the shelf.

And then yesterday, I decided maybe I should try writing a song to release on Youtube this Saturday to keep up a schedule -----

So, I wrote the poetry I could feel, the poetry that was inside of me ------

I wrote music for that poetry ---------

And I have to say ------ it's psychotic music. Like, it's what's inside of me, and it might even be a good message to tell, but it's not necessarily a NICE message.

It's the story of going through so much mistreatment repeatedly and just being told to forgive everything.

I leave a lot to the imagination, but if you knew what it was like to experience that in life you may see how such a song could be considered "wrong".

(And though The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints loves telling music it is wrong, this wrong music is a clear product of me living in that church)

Anyway ----- so I wrote a poem, and created some music --- it's what I could do because that's how my soul flows -----

But it's music that's basically on some level, psychotic. Paranoid schizophrenia levels of psychotic.

I mean ---- you know "Let's Talk" ------- it's good to let people know about this sort of thing,

but it's not necessarily a positive message.

And considering how Guidelines of behavior might be, I'm just wondering that maybe I should scrap this song as well. It's on my hard drive, but if I want to be a happy musician and make the world a better place ------ would such unhappy psychotic music help?

I think it COULD help ----- but I know probably someone wouldn't agree with that.

If you had a brain and interpreted my song, it would be taken as a message to always be on your best behavior --------

But it doesn't say that outright.

So yeah, I'm basically wondering if I'll have to scrap this. Maybe in some code of law such a song would be allowed ---- but we're talking YOUTUBE here, where it may or may not be OK ------ as well as a Church of Jesus Christ environment where people can be very judgmental.

So::: it's possible that my music project might have only two songs in it now -----

Simply because I write what I feel, and what I felt, trying to stay on schedule, someone might not like.

And the truth is, I've felt this way, I've had concerns over these thoughts for many years now ------ and the only real place I can discuss it is with my doctor. Nobody else wants to hear it.

So ----- Though I could have written more and produced a weekly song (maybe), I might have to shut down my own project, simply because I am full of grief and often don't have much else to talk about, in the depths of my soul.

I basically have to make deliberate effort to be happy really.

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Mellow Music 1 - Garage Band Guitar Instrumental

I've just released my latest composition and performance on Youtube. It's a lot calmer than my previous song. I made a change to the score today to make it better. I designed this song to help a player practice switching between chords. I like it.

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

About Psychiatry

I just thought I'd share a bit about my understanding or experiences with psychiatry here in Canada.

Psychiatric clinics do seem a little scary --- especially after you've lived a life of torment.

But, looking back, I have to say that psychiatry has been overall beneficial in my life.

The worst part of psychiatry is probably the drugs ------ it is really questionable how useful those really are -------

but in my life of living in the mental health system here, psychiatry has provided so much help ----- it feeds me, it gives me someone to talk to, it's like my friend, and it even helps me figure out some of life's problems.

OK ---- so there are different kinds of psychiatry.

I got psychiatry with a slant that really questions the LDS Church ------ and this has really helped me.

I don't know completely if there are psychiatrists out there who would go total pro-LDS ------- so I can't say for certain anything about that --------

but in my experiences with psychiatry, they really helped me question the validity of the church ---- and that REALLY HELPED.

So:::: being LDS, with beliefs in the paranormal and a no drugs philosophy, Psychiatric clinics seem really scary ----

but, looking back, yeah, it has actually been very good for me.

The worst part is the drugs ---- although the doctors themselves would say that the drugs helped me recover as much as I have. I don't know if I fully believe that ---- but the good news is that I am recovering.

Psychiatry can be a really good benefit for your life ------ but if you "misbehave too much" then they will make sure to treat you for those behaviors too I'm sure ------ so psychiatry has it's rewards for both patients and victims. Which is great.

Anyway, that's just how I've seen it in my Canadian psychiatric experience.

I should note ------- not all doctors are the same, and I've been lucky because for years now I've had a REALLY GOOD DOCTOR. it's been awesome having this psychiatrist.

So yeah ---- just the biggest bad thing that there might be about this profession is the drugs: how much do they really help?

I should also say that I am on a really good drug too.  The Paliperidone Injectable, or Invega Sustenna ------- has let me live my life happily and freely as I would want to, the only really big drawback being I gained a lot of weight, which doesn't really feel like too much of a problem anymore.

Some drugs are designed to put their patients to sleep.

My med lets me have more regular sleeping patterns --- it does NOT put me to sleep, and this has been wonderful for me.

I am actually just like the church taught in primary:::: early to bed and early to rise.

Anyway::::: I know psychiatry can seem scary, but after my years of living with it ----- it has actually been quite good. I really questioned it for a very long time.

It's not perfect, but it was really, really helpful. So yay.

The Power of Helping

so: good news: Purolator says they found my amp, and they said they are going to deliver it to me today. Yippee.

But the following is what I really wanted to say::::::

If you don't already know, in all my time trying to do this or that, selling things, I've found that people typically just do not pay.

This means that I am forced to survive mostly on the disability income I receive ----- and the reason I'm disabled is because of all the abuse and torment I received from other people when I was growing up.

So:::: growing up I was treated very poorly, and this is why I now have my income.

I've tried to work and entertain and educate people, but people don't pay me anything for this work ---- obviously something is very wrong with humanity, as things aren't going well repeatedly.

ANYWAY ------- SO:::: I bought an electric guitar, and I am now able to make my own music.

I also figured out that I will soon finally be able to buy a low-end new mac mini.

But I have to emphasize::::


is because my grandmother donated $500 to me as a Christmas gift.

I would not feel able to buy the guitar or the mac mini so soon if it wasn't for Grandma's Christmas gift/donation.

She basically just invested in my talents, really.

So:::: if a simple $500 donation gets me moving down a road where I can now play guitar online and even get a new mac,

then wouldn't it sure be interesting if people actually paid me for my work or donated bitcoin? I"m sure it would be pretty darned interesting.

I was just watching a video on youtube that says entrepreneurs suffer because people don't have money to spend. I believe it.

Imagine what the world would be like if people were honest in their dealings. Huh. The world would likely be a MUCH better place.


Main point of this post::::

My amp will be returned to me soon,

and the effects of one $500 donation/gift to me have been tremendous. Getting paid really, really helps.

Saturday, February 9, 2019

What I Want - Garage Band Electric Guitar Music

Well ---- my fancy microphone didn't make it ---- but I decided I would check to see if I could record something good with my webcam as a mic ---- it turned out quite alright I think!

So:::: listen to my electric guitar, listen to my words of faith, and watch some good messages on the screen. yay!

Friday, February 8, 2019

Microphone Order Cancelled eh

This morning I posted a video on Youtube announcing that I intend on performing some music in an upcoming video.

I say I am waiting on a fancy microphone to record my vocals.

I had ordered a fancy refurbished microphone ------- the money was paid from my Card ------- but when I just checked on the order a moment ago, the portal said the order had been canceled.


Well, it was refurbished ---- maybe there weren't any in stock, who knows.

It would be too bad if I offended Best Buy somehow by saying my amp never arrived.

The good news is that Purolator has gotten back to me twice today about the missing amp. I hope this all gets sorted out quickly enough.

Well ---- that announcement video on Youtube -------- I advertised it on Twitter and Facebook ---- so far only 1 person has watched only 6 seconds of it.

This does not look promising.

It's interesting that I have some subscribers, followers on Twitter and friends on Facebook ---- and then nobody cared to watch my video. Hmmm.

Such a letdown.

Am I personally just somehow separate from the rest of society? Maybe I am.

You'd think having friends would be a good thing ------ but it is also true that I have seen people fail horribly in their thoughts, actions, and speech. Maybe it is best just to stay separate.

It's unfortunate that I appear unable to sell anything or to even get people interested in watching a simple 2-minute video.

Who knows ------ my friends historically, many of them came from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and the church and I stopped getting along ------- and it's quite probable that members of the church can't accept to be shown how they might be wrong, especially when they believe it's wrong to criticize.

Oh well.

That's just a little sad because so much of what I am and learned and do and know came from that church ------ but somehow things just changed, and though I have much of my life based on things I know from church ------- the church basically seems to have rejected itself basically.

yeah, weird huh?

One minute the church is telling you that denying the Holy Ghost and murder are unforgivable --- the next thing you know your bishop tells you to deny your testimony of the Holy Ghost and they suddenly change their teaching to that murder actually HAS to be forgiven.

They were going in one direction consistently ---- then there was a sudden change in policy I guess.

And they feel they cannot be criticized for changing their beliefs or policies, or basically, baiting and switching.

Thursday, February 7, 2019

My First Amp is my Mac

Good news.

I now have an amp.

My amp even records my guitar playing, way better than my webcam recorded my acoustic guitar.

Yeah ---- a cable arrived today. I just plugged it into my mac, set the settings, turned on the application, set the settings again, and away I went.

It's not very loud though. But I think my parents will be OK with that.

So::: yeah, my acoustic guitar recordings from my webcam were not nearly as good as the recordings from my electric guitar through a cable on my amp. This is so special.

And I also received a guitar stand today. Now I don't have to worry about my Squier falling over. Yay.

You might wonder why I'd even want a real amp if I can use my Mac as an amp ---- well, setting up the mac as an amp is tedious enough that I'd want something that I can just plug and play with. That's why.

Anyway, just thought I'd share the good news. My Mac may be an amp now --- but it's more of a recording machine than an amplifier.

OK --- For some reason I actually feel kind of unfulfilled right now, like this is actually kind of a letdown.

It's all good ------- but it's just not a real amp. But yeah. Hmmm.

You'd think I'd be feeling better about this now. I still feel "good" ----- but it's not a strong good. It's kind of a "meh" actually.

So::: just got to look into a new amp is all. A real amp.

Reach Out With your feelings (Empathy)

Over the past few visits to the psychiatric hospital (every 3 weeks) I've started to notice that I'll feel anxiety and or depression .on those days.

These days, I'm normally feeling like quite a happy person ---- but on days I visit the psychiatric Unit I sense anxiety and depression.

So::: I have come to believe in EMPATHY, the ability to sense or feel what someone else is feeling.

Today, I was pulling a Jedi and reaching out with my feelings. Well, I wasn't really "reaching out" -- I was just sensing whatever might be going on in people's hearts.

Some people might call this a crazy belief, but

When you felt as many different feelings as I felt in such a short period of time --- I think I can safely suspect that I am feeling the feelings of other people.

This is NOT a "mood swing" ---- in a mood swing my thoughts and emotions would probably be changing together and I'd be acting accordingly,

This is me with a mind that's heavily thoughtful, and a heart sensing different feelings.

I am very much into good and happy feelings these days. But I could sense emptiness, in some, anger, in one I think, happiness, ----- well, anyway --- there's a whole range of feelings, and it was very interesting to sample them all in a short period of time.

A person who feels empty, I realize, might not even realize what they are missing out on, they may have to learn about the better warmer and happier feelings, I suspect.

Anyway ---- I'm just saying that I suspect I can sense others' feelings, at least occasionally ---- and yes, I am still believing in telepathy too.

As for the loss of the guitar Amplifier that was shipped to me:::::

I feel good in my heart, I am forgiving. It would be nice if someone or especially some company could reimburse me for my loss, but even if not, I am feeling forgiving,

and I realize that if I have to I can just go buy a new amp myself anyway. But it would be better if I was reimbursed for my loss.

I have grown so used to forgiving things, my growing up days as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has done so much to keep me non-responsive to a bad situation.

Although, more recently, it's becoming clearer in my mind that the church no longer controls me and that I am not absolutely required to forgive everything anymore. I do it largely out of habit, as well as I think there really are some good benefits to forgiveness.

So Yeah, I feel forgiving of my "damaged package". Reimbursement would be nice though.

I am a happy man. Life had been such a struggle ------ but I have brought myself to a good place of peace and happiness.

I think I've run out of things to say for now.

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

More Trolling

I kind of thought that maybe I should just stop talking about trolling ---- I tried not to mention this, but now I will:::

The backlight on my watch broke. I don't know how or why, but the backlight just broke. Huh. It doesn't work anymore.

But here's the really BIG trolling story for the day::::

Purolator delivered my Electric Guitar Pack from Best Buy today.  A day late. Actually --- two days late,

the first day late is because my credit card company suspected fraud -----

the second day late is because of inclement weather ------

But, now that it has arrived::: there's a problem::::::

The box for the whole shebang arrived pre-opened. I went through the contents.

The amplifier is missing.

How am I supposed to play my electric guitar with NO AMP????

This is disconcerting circumstance.

I have already contacted both Best Buy and Purolator about this. I took pictures.

I just have to wait for their responses now.


Well, this isn't the first time my mail has magically gone missing. Now I have further evidence that such goes on.

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

The Universe is STILL trolling me

Yesterday, in anticipation of getting my new Squier Affinity --- I decided I would buy sheet music for O Canada for guitar.

As I played the music on my acoustic, something became clear::: the music provided did not actually play O Canada.

I pulled out my iPad with Garage Band and inputted the chords from he sheet music into garage band to make sure --- Yep ---- the guitar chords listed on the sheet music had nothing to do with O Canada.

So::: $3CAD down the drain.

Today is the day my Squier was supposed to arrive.

But it's -28 degrees Celsius outside. Way too cold. I have to wait for tomorrow.

The good news is that I started studying scales today. I've learned a bit. Just very small things.

After tuning up my guitar (somehow it got out of tune) ---- I was playing around a bit with a Major Scale in B and it sounded alright.

It's just a matter of fully memorizing the scale diagram and practicing coordinating my left hand with my right hand in which string I'm plucking in that moment.

More good news:::

I'm getting better and better at being able to switch between Chords. This might just be because "Mellow Music 1" (or my variations of it) make it easy for me to switch chords ----- anyway, I'm getting practice.

My C Chord has also improved quite a bit --- thank you for your prayers. More prayers and practice will really help still I'm sure.

And lastly, in preparation for receiving my Squier, last night I reorganized and cleaned up my bedroom a bit more.

Yes --- this means I had to remove some of my parents' stuff from storage on shelves and under a table -----but I'm enjoying my space more now.

Not much more to say. Despite the Universe still trolling me, I'm still keeping happy.

Sunday, February 3, 2019

It's almost like the Universe is now TROLLING me.

In my last post, I stated my intention to move some funds onto my MasterCard and then order my first electric guitar this week.

It seems I'm getting a bit of a run-around - like the Universe is trolling me.

It wasn't too long after making that announcement on my blog that when I looked back at the guitar kit on Amazon I was thinking of ----- poof ------ they had at least a few in stock but suddenly there was no more stock ----- all in a 24 hour period.

So::: I started thinking about more expensive options and set more money to be moved to my MasterCard.

I will note::: the card I was moving my money to was a PREPAID MASTERCARD.

Well, the soonest I expect that money to be accounted for on that card is Tuesday. Maybe late Monday.

But today, this morning ---- I was looking at guitars on Best Buy, when they had a deal on that I didn't notice before ---- and it ends either today or tomorrow.

And I realized by the time my money gets to my card -- it will probably be too late.

So luckily I was able to remember all the details of my DEBT MASTERCARD ---- a mastercard I was intending on never using again. I WAS intending on never using it again, until I saw the deal on Best Buy that would be over before too long ------ so yeah, happily I remembered my card's details and was able to place an order.

But I'm not done yet!!

An hour or so ago the bank of my Debt Mastercard sent me messages asking me if this transaction is for real or if it's fraud. This never happens.

I had to respond that it's a good deal, and now looking at the email from Best Buy about this --- I now have to wait for tomorrow for Best Buy to finally receive payment and send out the shipment ---- which means the guitar will arrive a little later than I had originally hoped.

So:::: Yes ----- this is like a big runaround like the Universe is trolling me.

1) The guitar kit I was looking at suddenly became sold out wthin 25 hours ---
2) Before being able to make a purchase with my Prepaid Card ---- Best Buy annouced a sale that ends very quickly -------
3) I make the purchase with my Debt Card ------ but the purchase is suddenly suspected to be fraud ---- and I had to manually confirm it was actually good.


Anyway ----- Just in case my banks are reading and they're wondering what I'm talking about:::

I have TWO Mastercards. One is a debt card. One is a PREPAID card.

I intended on only using the Prepaid Card for the rest of my life, but again I have found a use for going a bit into debt again.

SO:::: Yesterday i was at my Sister's place to help her with some work.

I was so excited about my intentions of buying an electric guitar that I couldn't stop talking about Guitar with my Sister and her Husband.

Their family is learning Ukelele, so I also talked a good deal about that too.

Just very excited and intrigued

So::: near the end I pulled out my iPhone to play some of my recordings for my Brother-in-Law.

My brother-in-law, during the play of my recording, pulled out his Ukelele and some music and started to play and sing. I turned off my phone.

I actually have to say I'm really impressed with my Brother-in-Law's talent::: his singing with the Ukelele was actually quite beautiful.

The next steps for him would be to memorize his songs and perfect switching between Chords.

It was just so nice. The Ukelele is a beautiful instrument.

I think there was something else I was planning on discussing in this blog post, but now I can't remember what it was. I've forgotten.

So I'll end this post by saying that in so many ways I am just so happy with my life now ---- I feel like I'm in a sort of heaven that just keeps getting better and better. Besides the Universe trolling me.

I'm just so content now.

I just realized that I could say there is a reason to suspect some of the information from is actually true ------ but I will still keep my famous relations private right now.

There you go ----- all these good things to say, and I can't even remember the other thing I had to talk about.

Friday, February 1, 2019

Developing My Skills

Good news.

Yesterday I was examining a diagram of the Guitar Fretboard.

I figured out to memorize one area of the fretboard where it's easier to see and play all the notes from A to G.

I can now happily play a simple song by plucking --- no chords necessary. This new development in my skills will at least make playing that one song easier for me. Playing it with chords is harder --- especially when I experience so many problems with my C Chord again and again. Please pray for my C Chord.

So::: what is the proper term for playing the guitar without chords?

My Dad, from his days of playing Cello, called plucking his cello "Staccato" ----- So that's what we tend to call plucking on the guitar too ----- but other names used might be just "plucking" or "tab" or "tablature" ----- although I think a tablature is actually just a form of guitar musical notation.

Anyway:: more good news:::

My parents have given me permission to buy my first ELECTRIC guitar ---- as long as I keep the volume way down and use headphones.

Just a moment ago I initiated a transfer of some of my savings to my MasterCard. I'll be able to make an order probably by next week sometime.

So much for any plans of buying a new mac mini.

In other news::::

I don't know what it is:::: I think someone may have been praying for me to look, think or feel more benevolently about the Church.

I started seeing some of the good in what the church taught and started feeling more benevolent towards people who I was seriously ticked off at for a long time.

I'll say this::::

Mormonism (as in Mormonism as a whole --- not just the LDS) is a harder religion to live by than Christianity.

Jesus said his yoke is easy and his burden is light. Living by the Mormon way is harder. It's a slightly different philosophy that allows for big gains in life, but it's harder to live by.

Mormonism can get very broken very quickly. It's especially difficult when you have a member of your family who doesn't understand something about proper behavior or is not receptive to the holy spirit properly. It can be VERY difficult to live. But if lived properly, the results can be amazing.

And I'm only saying that on A SURFACE LEVEL context.

At the surface, which is all the religion ever needs to be for anyone::: it's just "Be good person, do your best, forgive the rest".

If you delve deeper into the texts and history of Mormonism, it stops making sense very quickly. --- there is a lot of fluff in the church ----------

But the main message is just "do your best and forgive the rest".  That's the very basics of it---- and that's all anyone ever really needs to know and do. Do that much --- and you are doing well.

It's just that it can be very difficult to live that way. But the results may make it entirely worthwhile.

And yeah ---- there are a zillion different ways in which Mormonism can go wrong, where it can become broken.

That's why I'm referring to Mormonism as a whole and not just the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints ----------- the LDS version has become so broken that even if I were to think of calling myself a Mormon again, I would still shy away from the LDS version.

In my Mormonism, Joseph Smith did NOT literally translate anything ------- whether he made it up or he was inspired with good thoughts, I do not believe he actually translated gold plates. But he taught some good ideas.

In my Mormonism, Coffee is totally allowed ---- as long as you cool it down with cold milk or water. Although, if you are under the age of 18 you should only drink decaf.  Same goes for tea.

Anyway, I will end today's discussion on Mormonism by pointing out two ways in which the church became broken::::

One church taught to opposing and conflicting doctrines on the same topic.

There were those who said "Be perfect" and there were those who said, "No one is perfect, we all sin".

Both these schools of thought existed in the same church. This makes living in that church difficult, and kind of makes the doctrine broken. Confusing to say the least.

And the second point is this::::

My older brother and I, long ago, both tried to commit ourselves to serve Jesus. The church basically got rid of both of us. We may have offered our lives to the Lord ---- but the church did not want us.

What makes this confusing or a little bit weird is this:::

I am aware of certain individuals who did NOT really follow the church properly, which means they were NOT properly committed to Jesus ----- and yet the church retained their membership and standing in the church.

Seems backward doesn't it?

The two loyal boys who actually want to do it ---- we got removed.

The people who didn't do it and weren't really committed ------ They were retained - the church kept them.

yeah --- it's weird --- especially when you consider the baptismal covenant --- how you commit yourself to choose the right.

When you make a covenant that says you'll choose the right, it's just weird that those who commit to serving Jesus are booted out while those who weren't actually following the rules retain membership. It really is that strange.