Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Christmas Psychological Alterations in Myself

This is interesting.

It's Christmas time, as you can see from the date on this post.

and I feel like I'm being "renewed" into a "new person" psychologically again.

One thing I know about myself, is sometimes I have a way of just magically changing who I am and what I believe and what I want to accomplish.

When I was a young child in school, I was one of the best, and as such, I was a total believer in capitalism.

By the time I got my LDS Patriarchal blessing, mental illness had taken such a grip on my family and there was such influence from certain LDS doctrine that I switched from being a capitalist to more of a socialist.

I went a long time believing myself to be a socialist. It was mostly a survival thing because my family was really, really messed up and we might not have made it without social supports.

Anyway::::::: This Christmas time, tentatively, or so it seems:::: two "magical" changes in my psychology have appeared.

1) Yesterday, on Christmas Eve, I came to a realization that though Avril seems to sing about me, she spends the vast majority of her time with other men. Though I appreciate her and how she helped me try to climb out of the pit my family dug for itself, I have more realization now that I shouldn't focus so completely on her. I have other things I can do with my life, probably.

2) Today, Christmas, I was just laying in bed, when it felt like the Mormon Socialist Brainwashing had worn off and I came to realize what it was that I loved before I got my patriarchal blessing:::: Cool video games. And cool video games are better generated through a more capitalist system. Or, at least, that's how I'm seeing it in my supposition.

Basically, though for the past time the NDP has been in power in Alberta I figured they did a pretty good job, I am tempted to flip back to some form of conservatism or capitalism, in some form.

Although, I believe in a kind, caring and compassionate form of capitalism that is basically kind of charitable ----- a system that tries to take care of people regardless of government involvement.

I've got to go to Christmas Dinner now.

I'll just summarize this post by saying that switches appear have been flipped in my head this Christmas, and I feel like I've just suddenly decided (tentatively, I'll say) that I should focus less on Avril especially as she's often with other men, and that I just feel myself feeling more capitalistic now.

So yeah, I went from capitalist to socialist, and I'm just beginning, now to feel capitalistic again. Kind caring and compassionate capitalism, however.

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