Saturday, September 15, 2018

The Emotional Urge for Friendship

Today I was realizing how socially cut off from people I am, whether by choice or whether it's imposed by others.


In Canada::: Freedom of association is supposed to be GUARANTEED.


I had a friend from a long time ago, she was also my classmate for 2 years.


The short of it is::: She had no idea why our friendship wasn't allowed, and even after we had both been banned from talking to each other she still talked to me anyway.


It was basically the church or someone or some authority in the church who decided that she and I would not be allowed to be friends with each other.


Since then, the church has basically been completely disproved ---- and I am also aware from some of her communications that she wasn't really a believer anyway.



I know the information can be messed up, and I know that the situation doesn't make sense and is completely illogical and can never be understood.



And yeah:::: the church that forced us to not be friends anymore never quite stopped her completely from talking to me ---- and then the church ended up being soundly disproved by a zillion different ways of people being able to figure it out.



Anyway::::: In my heart, in my soul, there is still some idea or yearning that she and I could still be friends.



But intellectually I know the situation has never made any sense and that the church really didn't want us to be friends.



SO:::: since the church is disproved now, and she didn't or doesn't really believe in that stuff ---- is the ban still in effect?


In my head I know I might be opening a can of worms by talking about this ----- but in my heart I kind of wonder about how she's doing and still desire a friendship with her.




My Dad likes to tell me that he was friends with a member of her family. Huh.



But anyway.



It's just interesting that many years ago my Bishop would tell me I have to forgive her and her family but then told me not to talk to her anymore::::: because that is actually self-contradicting instruction that goes against the whole Mormon book on forgiveness written by an LDS prophet.


So::: the situation has never really made sense, I might be opening a can of worms with my heartfelt feelings of wondering how she's doing.



it's just that it's the church that banned our friendship, the church got disproved, and she wasn't really a believer is all.


And that the Canadian Constitution is supposed to lawfully guarantee freedom of association.


Anywho ---- that's what was on my mind today.

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