Monday, August 13, 2018

Information appearing in my mind

I was just sitting in my chair by my desk, wondering how it is that I would need medication only directly after I got my LDS Patriarchal blessing ------

and then my mind was hit with information about what I'll call a "possibility" of why my life changed so drastically in so many different directions at the same time.

SO:::: the following is "speculation", which is based on thoughts that just magically entered my head, and as such, they may be "delusion" which means they might not be true ---- except the idea is kind of seeming plausible.

This is what I would call "telepathic information" ----- nobody said anything physically to me, but I heard it in my mind.


The big idea I got is that the reason I was dumbed down and then forced on drugs which would result in making me a much bigger person is this:::::

Someone wanted me to be a football player.

In Grade 10 Physical Education class, there was a unit where we would go to the school gym and lift weights.

I know one of the teachers personally observed me on one of the leg-weight machines, and what I did on the leg weight machine was lift the maximum amount of weight I possibly could on that machine.

Combined with my large stature, maybe there was some idea that was going around that I could be a football player.

So after I got m patriarchal blessing,  I was met with a conflict::::::

On one hand, my personal agreement with God and the patriarch's words that I would serve GOD --- as a traveling preacher to the nations.

On the other hand, another force wanted me on drugs which would cause me to gain serious weight which might make me desirable for football. Also:: being considered schizophrenic and being on drugs would cause me to NOT serve the mission the patriarch had prophecied.

It was basically a situation where the church gave me "crazy" ideas or beliefs, and then my parents didn't have the intellectual ability or even desire to actually follow the church completely -------

According to what I understand now, there are some real myths or dishonest information that can really get passed around in society ----- and one of the things my Dad held to was a belief in brain chemicals, brain medication ------ and he never really fully accepted any doctrine of Demons actually being real and he basically had this problem that he was raising me in a church that he didn't fully believe in or follow himself.

SO:::::: maybe in order to make me a football player, the whole schizophrenia thing overtook my Dad's mind and he easily crumbled under the pressure to take me to mental illness land.

The truth is, my Dad wasn't a full-time believer in the church ---- so taking my church beliefs, then telling me I'm schizophrenic for them and forcing me on drugs for it was right up his alley.

And I just experienced thoughts being planted in my brain that the idea was to turn me into a football player.

If that's really true or not:: I don't really know, though telepathy exists there's no law that says it has to be honest or 100% accurate.

Of course, one aspect of what I was just thinking may MIGHT'VE been due to the fact that one of the people who contacted me the other day apparently plays or played Football. Not sure if this is the real reason, but it's worth noting.

SO::: the news here is that I was just hearing thoughts that gave me a new perspective on why they would want to dumb me down and make me gain weight:::: Football.

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