Friday, July 20, 2018

Forgiveness and Mercy

I know I said in my last post that it's uncool to steal --- and it is uncool to steal, especially from me ---

but, following Jesus, looking for forgiveness points, and having not much better to do ---- engaging in a mercy or forgiveness of the situation seems like the way to be.

I'm not exactly condemning anyone for stealing my books ---- I just want to point out that it's better if you pay for it. Karma will smile upon you more.


There's also the possibility that I don't see sales perhaps, maybe because the government hides them from me. Like --- it seems possible that my local government of Alberta might be going behind my back to take my earnings, so I can repay my AiSH Benefits, for the benefits and the meds and treatment, and maybe even pay for my future benefits. You never know.


I really like sitting here wondering how I don't see sales ---- but there might be a legitimate reason for it.

of course, my MLA's office said that there are no "secret taxes" ---- so who knows.


Another Youtube video I watched yesterday said that most self-published authors only sell a few of their books each. Now that seems normal to me. The one who sells thousands of dollars worth is the rare exception. That makes more sense.


Me? I sold a few ------- and according to many numerous pirating sites I have been ripped off many, many times. People just don't want to pay.


I basically have to think back to my life before I got AiSH ---- realizing that if you don't have benefits like I do, then having money to spend on things is incredibly difficult unless you got a good start in life and have something to do that pays well enough.


I remember before when AiSH was closer to $1000 per month that it was extremely difficult to even then to feel wealthy ---- constantly in debt with no end in sight, not having all the toys you'd want and therefore just being unable to pay a debt off. Just enough to service a debt, not enough to buy all the toys you want and pay it off.



So:::: We got a new premier elected, AiSH was increased to a generous amount, and now I am living well. I just have to remember what it's like being poor, so I understand how people have been unable to pay the smallest price for anything.


I am very thankful for Alison Redford's (the ex-Alberta Premier) AiSH increase. It basically makes up for or is a substitute, for the revenue I should have received from book and video games sales.


Without the $400 AiSH increase I would be in a very bad condition ------ I wouldn't be able to afford my dental implant, I wouldn't be able to pay my debt off as easily, I might not have the computer hardware I have now ------- Alberta has been very good to me. Except for all the reasons why I got put on AiSH ---- I got put on AiSH because I went psychotic from all the mistreatment I received in life. Wish the $400 AiSH increase, I'm finally able to be basically happy and comfortable with my life.


Of all the hundreds and thousands of people who just wouldn't pay me for anything ----- the $400 increase makes up for that.


I just have to remember how it is to be poor, so I can have sympathy for those who couldn't afford my work and so I can forgive.


But in all seriousness::::: You get what you give.


I gave so much in my life, and somehow good things are returned to me. Yay.




So:::: The thumb pick we bought at a mall the next town over was enough to significantly improve my C Chord on guitar. My first performance is tomorrow for my nephew's birthday party.



I have my refurbished 1.4ghz Core i5 Mac Mini now.


It is surprisingly quite usable. It's not as snappy or quick as my 2012 mac mini (which has more RAM and a fusion drive), but it'll work for what I'm using it for.

Things about it:

1) My HDMI-VGA adapter didn't work with it. Luckily, I had a mini-DisplayPort-to-VGA adapter instead.

2) It came with Mac OS 10.13.4. To upgrade to the latest 10.13.6, I had to go to the apple support website and manually download what's called a COMBO update. That worked.

3) This mac mini, with its dual-core 1.4ghz and 3mb of L3 cache, is like my Intel NUC with dual core 1.6ghz and 2mb of L2 cache --- it's like that computer in that it updates Bitcoin Core faster than my laptop which runs a quad-core Pentium at over 2ghz but with only 256k of L2 cache per core. In this example, it's clear to see that it's the cache that counts and not the cores or the clock speed.

4) It took a good long while before this new mini discovered all my files which already existed on iCloud Drive.

5) It's basically just a dumb-terminal for me, for web browsing, email, music, and any task that's small enough for this computer to handle. My 2012 mac mini is where all the more intensive tasks will take place.


So::: why do I have so many computers? Well, for one, my Dad grew me up with a computer in the home and I've been very interested. For two, I could never get a really good computer when I was growing up, so I basically just feel hypnotized to have what I couldn't have as a kid::: a nice new machine.  OH ---- and I live in my parents' basement, which means I have a desk in my bedroom, and a desk in the living room ---- which means I need a computer upstairs and downstairs in order to not have to go up and down stairs all the time. Oh ---- and I have a laptop that I carry with me often just in case I need a computer on the go.


I've learned to live with and buy very cheap hardware. I don't buy much or any expensive stuff. I keep it frugal and thrifty --- what I can afford on my disability budget.



Anyway. Just rambling on. I don't have a social life, so here i am:: on my blog.


UPDATE 21-July-2018 9:34AM:::::

I woke up this morning to check how my new 1.4ghz Mac Mini was doing downloading the blockchain in bitcoin core.

It was done about 3.xx% of the blockchain. Not that impressive for a whole night of work.

I looked at the Activity monitor::: apparently, the processor in this mini hyper-threads, which means on virtual-core was maxed out working on bitcoin. 700mhz is half of 1.4ghz, so basically the computer was supposedly working at processing the blockchain download at only 700mhz.

And the 4gb of ram had to be shared with the rest of the computer system: which meant some of the bitcoin app was being compressed in memory.

So though this dual-core i5 is pretty much seeming to still be faster than a quad-core Pentium at bitcoin -----

My 1.6ghz dual core CELERON NUC might have the advantage over this core i5 at bitcoin.  I suppose I can't really be too certain, considering it usually takes a long time to download the blockchain anyway ----- but the Celeron doesn't hyperthread and it runs at 1.6ghz, while this mini hyperthreads and therefore was only giving the process 700mhz.


This is just what I think anyway. Who knows if one virtual core on a hyperthreading processor is capable of running at full speed ---- I would have guessed one virtual core would only run at half the speed of the processor.


So, for a while it definitely seemed faster than my quad-core Pentium laptop ----- but I'm thinking it might be a bit slower than my Celeron, for bitcoin at least.

yeah, i was just disappointed that I slept all night with bitcoin core running, and when I checked it in the morning it was only 3.xx% complete. Not that great a performance. Or maybe that's all that can be expected-------

The computer that REALLY processes bitcoin core well is a 2012 mac mini quad-core with 16gigs of RAM. That works very, very well.

UPDATE 9:50AM::::

I crossed out the above UPDATE because all that chugging along at 700mhz for a good while must've done some good:::: when I checked bitcoin core on the new mini again after writing the above update, it then said it had completed 10 or 11 percent of the process.

Awesome!!!  That is more what I expected, quite well done.


NOTE:::::

One reason I get such fast download speeds on bitcoin core rather than slow download speeds is because I have my NUC running as a home server always running (very low energy) ---- and I run bitcoind on it, which means the NUC receives all the small incremental slow download of the blockchain constantly, while if I want to update the blockchain on my other devices, they seem to find the NUC quickly and it's a very fast process to download the new information.

Unfortunately, my quad-core Pentium with 4x256k of L2 cache, despite the speed of the ethernet connection bringing the data in faster, it still takes a very long time to process the new information.

Just thought I'd mention this.

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