Friday, June 1, 2018

It just goes on and on

I was sitting in the van, waiting for my family to come so we could take my Mom to work ----


I started to hear SINGING.


Where is that singing coming from?


I look around, and eventually, after only a short while, I am able to look out my passenger door and I saw a person with GOLDEN BLONDE hair walking down the street, singing.


OK ----


It is completely unusual to see people singing in the street like that.  Even more unusual to have golden blonde hair like that.




SO::: I took my mom to work, continued with my day, came home,


I sat down to play American Truck Simulator.


For the past month when I've played this game, I've had NO PROBLEM going for long hauls and keeping concentration and everything. Just enjoying a relaxing video game.



Well::::: Today as I was playing ----- I started to hallucinate.


I couldn't SEE anyone, whoever it was was invisible ---- but I could feel, basically like an angel, cuddling me.


I was being hugged and cuddled while playing a video game. By an invisible person.



I was unable to concentrate on the game much longer, so I had to stop.




So:::: After all that's happened------ CLEARLY SOMETHING IS GOING ON.


I'm not the only one experiencing it either, I am aware of other people who experience strange things.


I don't know how far this goes or where it extends to ----- but I've definitely noticed it, and at least a few other people have noticed it too I think.


yeah. Completely weird and unusual stuff.



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As for my idea of a charity:::: it really would only work if, say, I made money on selling my projects --- or if I won the lottery.



I'm not willing to take other people's money to do such a thing.


I like my idea of how I could charitably contribute to the community ----- but what it comes down to is winning the lottery or actually selling my products.



BUT:::::: One part of my mind, I think, has come to realize why I have a hard time making money. It's not really a bad thing, it was just a stupid decision I made long ago ---- that's what I think it is. If remembering/guessing properly.


I'm just guessing that I actually probably did offer my profits to a different Charity.


It just seems most logical in my mind, though not fully remembered, that a different charity might be collecting what I earn. This is still really just a guess though, maybe based on fragments of memory.


maybe I made quite a bit of money ------ but if I agreed to send my profits elsewhere long ago, then guess what? My earnings may have been diverted to a charity.


But this is just a guess based on fragmented memories. I think.


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So::: there you go. I hallucinate. But that doesn't mean I'm "out of my mind".

I am experiencing and seeing strange things, but I am quite sane about it I think.

When similar sorts of issues were coming up many years ago, the problems were this:

1) My sister wanted me to be insane.
2) The church told me to forgive everyone.
3) I can now do whatever I want because I'll just be forgiven.
4) The church doesn't actually forgive everything.


THAT'S what happened all those years ago. I was in a very bad situation years ago where my family wasn't helping and the church couldn't get the laws straightened out ---- and then the psychiatrists didn't even really believe what I understood or believed.


Anyway, this is my day today. I am supposedly still on medication.

I'm in my right mind, just having strange experiences ----- which are totally explainable if you are not an atheist.

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