There really is a big difference in my mind. For the past 17 years, things that happened when I was 16 and 17 years old were present in my mind as if they had happened just yesterday. I had all these memories, and there were "important" ones that were on my mind as if it was just yesterday.
But my mind somehow becomes "new" --- like even OUYA seems distant now, and I can't even bring myself to think about specifics in my life. It's like it's all gone, in the past.
Like, one of the big problems my Dad has had with me for a long time is I'd have something "important" to talk about and he would be unable to discuss it with me ----- he never discussed it with me since the beginning, so it just popped up over and over again, and we almost never discuss it ---- and he'd say "we've already talked about this".
Anyway ---- I had things on my mind that wouldn't go away that stayed on my mind as if they happened yesterday.
But today it's different. I really do feel different in my head. So many things seem distant now --- like it doesn't matter anymore.
Why is my brain doing this?
Maybe I'm just recovering from all those past problems.
Two psychiatric visits ago, all I talked about was video games. My visit with the psychiatrist was basically just me giving the doctor my personal opinion or review on a couple video games. Even 3 weeks ago: the problems weren't being big in my mind at that time.
So, yeah, I just feel like I can move on now.
BUT::::: For the sake of this blog, the BIG reason I'm writing this post is the following:::
I don't fully know if what I'm about to say has anything to do with my mind being renewed into a less-traumatized state,
but a few nights ago, I think it was Tuesday Night, I sat down on my bed in my darkened bedroom, and in plain view, I could see a white light in my doorway.
The white light turned off, and back on, and flickered.
I could not hear anyone playing with light switches --- and in fact, because I don't normally see any lights like that, and because there's no real way that light could have been appearing,
basically, something weird happened.
Just a white light in the middle of the night as I sat on my bed. The light was coming from the door --- but no one was doing anything, there were no sounds of people walking around, no indication of light switches being played with ---- and the light didn't even look natural to my housing conditions.
It was just weird.
So::: yeah, just weird white lights and now my brain is forgetting the past.
What's even weirder is an LDS friend contacted me on Facebook and invited me to an Open House.
Normally I would be able to deflect the LDS church so easily ----- but the white light I saw just earlier in the week had me disarmed.
The only real excuse I had at that point for not going to the LDS Open House was because I still realize my Dad wants me to stay away from the church because of past problems ---- and those problems are now becoming distant and faded in my mind. Weird. But I know my Dad has a problem --- and that much is not distant and faded.
yeah. Just weird stuff ----- it really does seem like someone was praying for me.
Someone praying for me to forget the past, see white lights, and go back to church or something. It really is like a magical experience I'm having in the past week, and I can only wonder if it's because people are praying for me ---- so the Law of Attraction comes into effect. yeah.