I wondered if what was on my mind was really important to mention on my blog, so I asked my Magic 8 Ball if I should talk about this::: it said: "Yes Definitely".
Last night and this morning I was having "discouraging" thoughts of how in so many ways it doesn't make sense that I'd ever get married, and it doesn't make sense that I'd ever fulfill my LDS Mormon Patriarchal Blessing.
There seems to be so much against the big change in my lifestyle that would have to take place for me to actually do and complete what was intended when I was younger.
I have grown, very, very comfortable in my current lifestyle.
But I think maybe "God" somehow wanted to encourage me somehow rather than make me think discouraging thoughts,
So all day today I've been having all kinds of happy memories.
Some of my memories are so happy that I actually get a high just from thinking about the good things.
I am so glad I have a lot more good things to think about than bad things.
I have some bad memories. I have not lived a perfect life, and I've had my problems, which I mentioned in an email recently,
but I'm just so happy that I have an abundance of happy and good memories. It's like the negative stuff doesn't matter anymore, especially when, in reality, my negative memories (memories where I fail to perform or achieve properly) are so minute compared to all the great good and wonderful memories.
So, I was basically feeling like I am actually probably one of the happiest or happier people alive.
Part of my memories today has been to make me realize that there was good in some of the bad experiences I had ------ the church seems so wrong, but maybe that's OK.
Like, as far as I am aware, the concept of a person being perfect or self-righteous or holier than thou is actually WRONG.
I had to remember the concept of how being a super-super-good-boy can or is actually frowned upon.
The church teaches that they are trying to achieve perfection --- but if you achieve perfection, what then?
Is it, in fact, possible that the self-righteous-proud-holier-than-thou attitude is actually wrong or a sin somehow? Yeah, I think it is.
So:::: The church strives for some kind of perfection, but they also seem so wrong in so many ways.
Just goes to show something I think.
But there is actually A LOT to learn about God, metaphysical laws, and religion.
It can be so easy to turn it all away and say it's all a load of crap ----- but there is so much more at work that I was aware of when I was young.
Like ----- at one point in my life, when I realized that God changed his mind on an issue part way through a story ------ I was put-off at how God suddenly just changed.
But I've been reading this supposed non-fiction book about prophets and learned that God CAN and DOES, in fact, change his mind.
Like, wow! Mind blowing!!!
That's just my example, getting all discouraged at how God suddenly just changes the policy and then having enough time and more studying/training to realize that God can and does just change his mind.
Not just in Mormonism, but in Christianity as well!!!
So::: I was discouraged about ever marrying or fulfilling what my dreams were from a younger time ---- but I became filled with good memories and benevolent perspectives so now I wonder if God is trying to encourage me through my thoughts somehow.
But::: Actually fulfilling my LDS patriarchal blessing would involve a huge change in my lifestyle, and I am just so comfortable and happy with where I am already today!!!
Anyway, I guess I'm just reporting now that I am living with very high happiness levels and I just feel so good about my life.
I had lots to think about. Probably too much to say on my blog, and you might get bored reading all my thoughts, so above in enough for now, I guess.