So, after writing that post about wanting to de-hypnotize myself - yesterday I was with my Dad driving around, when I felt basically like a microchip had been removed from my brain ---- and the unceasing constant thoughts about Mormonism suddenly stopped.
I've spent the past over a decade of my life having thoughts about that church swirl around in my head repeatedly, like a broken record.
But the thoughts are going away. My head is getting clearer now.
So, yesterday, realizing that I was no longer pre-occupied in my brain about Mormonism, I decided I would try to start retraining my religious self in what is typically considered the actual truer doctrine::: the New Testament.
Matthew 10:8 (I think) says "Freely ye have received, freely ye give".
That scripture really hit me. All this time I've been preoccupied with being paid for work ---- not that my work is actually really worth anything (besides maybe my books).
Though it's true I need money if I want to buy a home or whatever: it's also true that I've been given so much, so it's only moral for me to give back to everyone else.
OK --- So I do give this and that ----- but I guess I'm just realizing (or resigning myself) that getting paid for my work is a hopeless cause --- and that I can, in fact, just feel good about having as much free distribution as I have had, and not condemning it, causing me to hopefully get forgiveness points from Jesus.
Anyway ----- another interesting thing about this idea of freely giving --------
I've been wanting to replace an 10 year old pc for a while, I'm saving money and budgeting ------ and I was originally going to replace it with a new mac mini.
But mac minis are expensive. I could get an alright linux mini pc for a much more decent price.
Well, one of the big reasons I wanted a mac was so I could develop in XCode --- because I learned how to do that.
But just last night I had an idea in my head to check out MonoDevelop in the Linux repositories.
I downloaded, installed, and quickly figured out I have all the knowledge and skills I need to make at least simple applications for Linux using MonoDevelop and C#.
You know that "Guess 3 Characters" game I have on mac? I quickly ported that to Linux just last night.
So::::: Maybe I can save money by buying cheaper linux hardware than expensive mac hardware.
And we all know that Linux Software is typically free.
As long as I can think of projects to work on.
That's all just tentative however, I'll make a final decision eventually. But --- being on disability --- the prospect of getting cheaper new hardware rather than expensive new hardware is compelling.
So, the two major great points of news here are:::
My brain felt like a microchip has been removed and the endless thoughts about the church are slowing down.
And I figured I can now also build Linux Applications, if I ever get any good ideas. Fun.