Today, I developed a sort of simple game for iOS.
I've been thinking about releasing this simple game on the App Store ---- but I feel very anxious or nervous about the idea, like butterflies in my stomach.
And apparently, it costs $99 to publish on the App Store for a year. I don't even have $99CAD (much less USD) readily available at this moment to do such a thing ----
And if history is correct, then people wouldn't pay me for my game anyway.
So what's the point?
I made a game that I (me) would want to play on my iPhone.
But there are no guarantees anyone else would go for it --- which makes this a very expensive simple game.
Maybe I should just give up --- or wait until I have other projects to release at the same time.
If people just aren't going to pay me for my work --- then there's not much point.
My alienation from my church and old schoolmates might cause people who would've known me personally to dislike me -- and this reduces my chances of selling successfully.
I don't think I need to go into detail in this blog post about why I'm so alienated from communities that I grew up with ---- it's enough to say that FFCA schoolmates were trying to hypnotize me to do very bad things, while the church always told me to forgive everything, but then they wouldn't forgive me for pretty much anything, small or large. The Book of Finch doesn't even go fully into detail on this topic.
Anyway ---- when the communities that raised me treat me so badly and therefore alienation: I'm not likely to sell much product, so I'm wondering what the point of trying is. Especially as history shows that people just won't pay me for my past products either.
It's disappointing --- I'd love to build games and apps and all that ----- but the society I grew up in was pretty dysfunctional and people are so stingy I'm not even worth $0.99. It's difficult to be in business with that going on.