Wednesday, November 8, 2017

What it was about?

I know I said I wanted to discuss good and positive things, but as I returned home with my Dad from the mall today, I realized there's a flip side that should be discussed.

If I only said good things about something that was actually bad, then that would be dishonest. People would think it's such a good thing when it's actually not. False advertising is bad.

So, when my family joined the church right after I was born, as I grew up I learned various things about what I thought I could expect in the church.

The LDS family that helped convert my family was very friendly, very nice people, very positive and it was always a good environment.

So::: 1) LDS Church should be about extremely friendly behaviors.

The church was all about eternal families and social connections.

2) LDS church is a family and friends organization.

The church instilled strong beliefs in God, Jesus, Ghost, Angels, and a whole bunch of very miraculous stories.

3) The church is about God, Angels, Ghosts Jesus and the miracles and all that.

The above list is basically what you'd think you'd find and expect in any Mormon church --- this is what it's all about.

What happened in my life?

I befriended an LDS Friend ------ her parents were extremely angry and even vicious with me, for no reason.

And the church decided that they should not be disciplined for such behaviors.

1) The church isn't about very friendly behavior anymore.

The church obviously wouldn't let me befriend this LDS friend, and Avril Lavigne seemed friendly so I could be her friend, but the LDS church was staunchly opposed to me being friends with Avril Lavigne -- to the point where I understood Avril Lavigne was damned to hell, she's not savable, just because the bishop said so.

2) The church wasn't actually a friends and family community either.

So, what about God, Angels, Ghosts, Jesus, and miracles? I mean --- this is one of the major talking points of the church.

Guess what? My testimony of Jesus and the Holy Ghost was generally rejected and is not allowed while I was forced with psychiatric medication for believing in miracles, which the church entirely supported such drugging for such beliefs.

3) So no, the church is not even about God, Angels, and all that Jazz.

There are three major things, that having grown up in the church with, that I would have thought the church would be about, would be totally into these things.

But they actually weren't.

And since the church wasn't actually into those 3 things, then I really have to wonder what the whole thing actually was about anyway.  What on earth is the church going on about, what is it for, if it's not friendly if it's not friends and family, and if it's not actually about God and spirituality?

It was supposed to be about, more or less, those 3 basic things ---- but the church, in my experience, completely disproved their own intent to be that kind of community.

I base some personal beliefs on the Mormon church beliefs, yet I find the church completely rejects my beliefs which are just personal extensions of what the church taught me.

The church taught me about the still small voice of the holy ghost, the voice of the holy ghost, talking to God and revelation, yet I once received a letter from the local Stake President (no longer stake president) where he denies that God would talk by voice to man.  The stake president wasn't upholding the standard issue LDS doctrine I was raised with.

So yeah, I would love to be happy and positive ----- and though the Patriarch seemed good and magical ---- I would be falsely advertising the church if I made it seem so good and perfect.

There were 3 basic things about them which I thought was the whole purpose of the church.

In the end, the church completely negated their own propagation of these purposes.

The church seemed to be about 3 things, but it was not, in practice, actually about those things.

I wanna say good and happy things, but I also want to tell the truth ---- so I'm not going to make the church seem totally better than what it actually was.

I guess I also just have memories and leftover psychological issues from those memories.

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