Thursday, October 5, 2017

I'm getting nervous

So, I am still getting either daily or nearly daily phone calls from "random" or various different Calgary or Toronto phone numbers.

Today was a Toronto number.

I do my research - usually, I find no information about who it could be.

My phone is in a consistent state of "DO NOT DISTURB" ---- I feel very nervous or anxious or something about getting unsolicited phone calls.

If you want to say something to me, leave a message, or write an email. Heck ---- you can even text me!!

But yeah, I did get an email today::: for a Ward 7 Candidate's campaign in the civic election. Not relevant to me, but OK --- it was an acceptable form of communication.

Today I got followed on Twitter by yet another musician!!

Very calm music, from Brenda Xu. On Spotify, they say she has had song placements on MTV and Nickelodeon.

And I also talked to my aunt and her husband today.

Turns out my step-cousin, Kristine St.-Pierre, is going to release another album::: In FRENCH.

Her first album, "Call Me Crazy", is in French and English, and I enjoyed it well enough.

And me, seeing this attention I'm getting, I just feel kind of nervous or even fearful about it ---- I've been through so much crap in my life that I'm not sure if getting attention from people is a good thing - especially when they've neglected to pay me for any of my work.

I did a month of one poll on this blog::: and no one could answer the poll apparently. Sheesh.

My life has been so full of trouble ---- I think I am just nervous or scared of having to deal with people on a larger scale.

And here I am ---- just trying to get by on a modest income, paying for hefty but important expenses and I couldn't afford to build another product when I felt like it - not that anyone was going to pay me anyways.

I am so thankful that my life has been as good as it has been, I've had my good moments, which is awesome,

because I fear how bad things could've been, considering all the trouble.

I am even busy to answer the phone. Usually, when the phone rings, I'm already busy with something else. And I have things I do, and my schedule does revolve around someone else's day --- so live with it. And I don't get paid enough.

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