Tuesday, September 12, 2017

My Life has Come to This

After two days of feeling very strongly (as if mind-controlled) that I want to return to the Mormons, last night and this evening I distinctly felt that feeling of the Mormon Holy Ghost inside of me.

A school teacher would refer to it as the "Warm Fuzzy" feeling.

After other kinds of spiritual feelings of wanting to reunite with Mormons, today I just got a little warm and fuzzy happy-ish feeling in my heart.



I'm basically on "medical leave" from my "job" right now --- I couldn't afford to work on my next project while I'm paying for dental care, so I'm sitting here realizing how dull and empty my life really is.



I'm just being invited back to the old church and getting spiritual feelings or mind control issues trying to help me go back.  Including the warm fuzzies.




Ex-Mormons argue that these feelings are just your brain chemicals ---- so it's interesting that I would have these specific feelings at the same time the Mormons would be inviting me back.



I have some recollection from the non-spiritual school I went to as a kid that these "warm fuzzies" were a result of doing good things, and just good stuff and the like ---- what we learned in school wasn't a lot different from what we learned in the church in this case.



So, since my life is very dull and empty, and I get these feelings and invitations, there is some chance I might reunite with the Mormons ----- but I do have a clear intellectual knowledge that I should just be there for the social group, not for their doctrine.


As for some of their doctrine::: some of their doctrine has its place, has some decent and good value.



The requirement to forgive all men might not be so much a requirement to actually forgive all men ----- but it is a good reminder of the good value of forgiveness, although I already know such is not actually required.


In some ways, forgiving everyone is a decent philosophy to live by --- it can be so good in so many ways.



It's just when people are getting maliciously misbehaved or just really-really wrong that it doesn't necessarily apply anymore.



But in the end, D&C 64 can actually be considered to be a hilarious scripture, because when my mind thinks about it I can't help but laugh at how, well, stupid it is.


It's an ok philosophy, but there should be exceptions. Some things really just shouldn't be forgiven, according to common sense.  But there are some good things about the philosophy.



So I'm not really under "mind control" at this moment, or at least I don't fully realize that i am ---- I am being "warm fuzzied" in my feelings and I realize how dull and boring my life is, and how much fun being part of a social group like the Mormon people might be.



There are some good concepts in Mormonism.  It is at least somewhat educational.  Although, I know already that things can go horribly wrong.



So yeah ----- the Mormon holy spirit is giving me warm fuzzies now at a time when the church has been inviting me to some activities.



It is a pleasant feeling to feel. I feel good, but in my mind, I might have some reservations about the whole thing, even as I do already know that the philosophy wasn't totally wrong.



I'll finish this just by saying that is actually just plain exciting to feel feelings like this again.



There are different kinds of good feelings. I haven't felt the warm fuzzies for quite a while.

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