Friday, September 8, 2017

I'm happy only because I'm medicated

Psychiatry has done me a lot of good.

The meds they give me 'smooth me out' emotionally. and I actually need that.

If I wasn't medicated, I'm sure I'd be feeling pretty suicidal right now.

Where should I start?

The only reason my family is doing as well as it is because of SOCIAL PROGRAMS. My family is, well, extremely ill, mentally, I would say. That's enough about them ---- but that's actually no different from most of humanity, so it only gets worse:

In my last post I mentioned Dream Hack Astro in Montreal ---- because my dream the night before was of me being an astronaut, so that was a pretty interesting coincidence.

I actually decided to try watching the beginning of their tournament.

First person shooters are battlefield simulations right? I mean, these games are meant to give you an experience that shows you what it's like on a battfield.

Now that I know how pro gamers play so well, I'm not impressed. There's a battlefield simulation, which is one thing,

but somehow pro gamers are all supermen who have xray vision and can see all their enemies through walls ---- camouflage will not keep you hidden.

Basically:: for a long time I suspected there must've been a "technical" reason why some players are so good ----- and now I know ------ some players have unfair advantages, like being able to know where all their enemies are by seeing through the walls.

This completely turns me off of that kind of gaming. It's just not right.  It's like if everyone in the Olympics was on steroids.

I suspected for a long time there was something wrong with online FPS gaming, and now I know what it is.  It's NOT a legitimate battlefield simulation. It's actually just stupid.

But our world gets worse:

The Canadian Red Cross sent me a letter recently.

In the letter, they say:

"Quite frankly, there aren't many people like you - who not only care, but are also willing to take action to help keep the Red Cross prepared to respond wherever and whenever help is needed."

What does that mean?

That means people don't donate money to the Red Cross, typically, on a massive scale.

I'm actually one of the FEW who actually donates to these guys. According to this letter.

comparatively, there's another charity: "ShareTheMeal" through the UN's World Food Programme.

Trying to raise 150,000 meals for Canada Day 150 celebrations. They started before July, but now by September, as of today, they only have  544 people on Team Canuck, willing to help poor children in poor countries.

Obviously something is very wrong. Canada is a great nation, but with this news from CRC and WFP, there is something very wrong with our people.

I realize the only reason I'm able to donate is because I'm disabled, and I get a benefit.  But why am I disabled? Because I was abused too much when I was young.  SOMETHING IS WRONG.

Youtube tells me that Canadians, in general, are in massive loads of debt.

I guess that's how we are::: I was one of the smartest, but I'm only a little bit above zero right now (and that does, unfortunately, mean I'm comparatively wealthy) ---- but if people actually paid me for my work I'd be way above zero ------- but from the sample population I commonly see, well, that may explain why no one has any money.

I actually stopped having faith in humanity long ago, now that I remember.

Anyway, the world is a mess. I'm only doing so well because of medications and disability.

Youtube is [almost] the only thing these days that keeps my brain stimulated. People just aren't that smart.


Gaming can be a sham because of pro gamers with unfair advantages.

Few donate to Red Cross.

Few help poor children in poor countries.

My family is quite messed up, just like everyone else,

and I'm not suicidal because I'm on meds 24/7.

There has got to be a better way.

You may be just one, but only you can change you.

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