I've been raging against my old church for so long now ---- but about a week before my last birthday the bishop sent me an email so he could be the first to wish me a happy birthday.
I then responded, talking about some issues.
Then, later, I sent him another email telling him some more issues, and telling him to go away.
But then I noticed an old notice in my inbox that I didn't read that said my dentist who is giving me my dental implant is actually a member of this bishop's bishopric.
So I apologized.
Basically, I shouldn't be so rude to the bishop when his first counselor is giving me medical treatment.
And now the invitations are coming.
Yesterday I received an invitation to go to a potluck held by a member of the church who I know personally who actually helped establish a civic holiday in our city. (Pay it forward day)
and just this morning I saw an email where the elders are inviting me to their corn bust tonight.
They are now turning up the friendliness. And it's kind of hard to resist.
I expressed interest in the potluck --- but as the corn bust is directly a church activity, I might have to turn that down:::::
Here's why: I believe I've met Jesus personally on multiple occasions. But my older brother rejected my testimony and my Dad tends to believe it's a bunch of insanity.
Basically, it would be very inappropriate to be ordained as an elder in the church if the people who do the ordination (my brother and father) do not back me up about my experiences. If they have no faith, then the whole experience is pointless and wasted.
Either my Dad and brother will be left out, and then I won't even had a ride to church ---- or I'll be inappropriately ordained by people who do not believe or accept the actual truth.
And then, there are other problems as well, but that's the basic reason I can't continue in the church:::: it would be wrong to have non-believers ordain me. And::: at least two past bishops also expressed their lack of belief in my experiences. There are just problems and issues.
But::: I do have to admit that the Mormons do possess a spiritual power, yet again::: why? Because for so long I've had so many ideas about how wrong they are::: but just in the past few days I could physically feel my heart get softened towards them like I knew they were going to have me back.
SO YEAH::: Mormons can be very good and friendly people, but for various problems throughout in my life, including in my own family, actually going back may be difficult.
Very nice of them to invite me to social activities. But I'm, so far, only interested in the one that's not directly happening at a church building and isn't directly specifically a church activity.
I eventually decided that I would go to neither activity, neither the potluck nor the combust.
I was interested in the potluck ---
But then I noticed a certain individual was also invited to the same potluck.
This individual believes that LDS Church leaders CAN NEVER be criticized.
In the Book of Mormon, PRIDE IS A SIN. IT IS A VERY BIG BAD SIN.
You are supposed to be humble as a Mormon.
So:: I'm just confused about how humility is exemplified in our leaders through the "I cannot be criticized" characteristic.
Being unable to take criticism is actually PRIDE.
This particular person actually wants his church leaders to be PROUD which is completely contradictory to how the Book of Mormon teaches people should be.
The "I cannot be criticized" attitude is narcissistic and is not mentally healthy.
So, when I saw that a certain individual who believes in no criticism of leaders, I stopped any desire to go to these events. I just don't want to be around someone who opposed me with an argument that was in direct contradiction to his own scriptures.