Saturday, April 15, 2017

Feeling Insecure/Uneasy

Seeing as how yesterday's post stated I would be wrong no matter what side I chose, I think I am well justified in feeling quite insecure and uneasy today.

I just have a sensation in my feelings like something or anything could go wrong at this point.


The truth is, I've been living in a state of flip-flop neutrality for quite a while now, and things are going "smoothly".



Sometimes I think nicely about the Mormons, but other times I realize how wrong it is.


There are good things and bad things about Mormonism.  In the end I can not really support them, because of how "Mormonic" it is (I think Joseph Smith chose that word intentionally),


but I also just don't talk to it about my Mom, usually.  Nothing I can do will change her mind.



Either Joseph Smith intentionally created his religion that way (Mormonic) or it just turned out that way because the creator wasn't thinking straight.



Either way, in the end, the religion just doesn't work, for me at least.


There are too many human fallibility variables involved.



it's a church where your eternal standing and outcome actually depends on the actions of someone else, not your own actions.


So yeah.



Just saying, I was feeling or am feeling insecure and uneasy, like something could go wrong.



But we manage to go our way without thinking about the church verbally in our home, because we already, more or less, know each other's positions, and we just don't discuss it.

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