Saturday, April 22, 2017

Becoming Unmotivated

This is a blog post about how I don't feel the drive to continue in my business, besides writing this free blog posts and maybe a few youtube videos that people won't bother to watch.

Like, when I was a student ---- I was a REALLY good student. I did what I was supposed to, and I ranked very highly among my classmates.

But that didn't continue --- why?

My explanation for my downfall was just the mistreatment I received from those around me.  I'm not going to go into detail here, but I could create quite a list of things that people were doing to me or had done to me that wrecked my brain as I was schooling.

People just didn't treat me very well ---- and as such I eventually completely dropped out of school.

I love the Razer Forge TV. I have a PS4, and I have some high quality games on my PS4 ---- but I am far more likely to play something cheap, which is just as fun for me, on my Forge TV. Heck, this morning I even took my old Apple II off the shelf, plugged it into an old black and white tv I have, and played "Nerm the Worm" ---- that was actually pretty fun for me, and it didn't have to be the big expensive game system with the heavy graphics.

Anyway, I also had lots of fun developing games for OUYA and Cortex.  Problem was ---- I still haven't received even my first paycheck from Cortex/OUYA. I sold some games, but not enough to get paid.

And the lack of money received has, over time, demotivated me, so I don't feel so likely to work again. On anything.

Heck, I've even written most of another book --- and this other book has some pretty interesting things in it too ----- but the fact that people just don't pay me for my work has actually caused me to slack off on this project, and I've basically decided that I'm not even going to publish --- simply because people just wouldn't pay me the smallest price for anything I did.

Amazon recently sent me an email asking me to advertise on their marketing services --- that sounds interesting, but I'm more inclined just to save my money --------- I've already done so much to advertise and all that ------ and people just won't pay me.

So, the lack of money I receive from my work is kind of depressing, and I am no longer motivated to build projects.

I can't say I know for certain exactly why I'm not getting paid ---- but the simple fact that I'm not getting paid is slowing down my pace of work quite a bit.  If there's no reward, then why should I try to entertain or inform?

I know part of the problem is just that people bought NVidia Shields instead of Forge TVs ----- but another big part of the problem is that people couldn't be bothered to actually pay me for a legitimate copy of my book ---- people ripped me off.

So yeah, I'm just not interested in working in an environment where people aren't rewarding me for my effort ---- kind of like how people just treated me like shit even though I was one of the best students - I just won't continue.

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