So one thing I sometimes wonder about is if people love me, if they hate me, or if God loves or hates me.
I seem to get along well enough with people these days.
And as I listen to this Christian Music on Apple Music Radio, my thoughts have wandered to thinking about my childhood.
I thought I was a good kid.
But when I think about who I was ---- I wasn't necessarily really good.
In Dungeons and Dragons terms, I could probably been said to have been a "Lawful Evil" child.
Basically, I listen to this Christian music, and my self-righteousness melts away, and I'm convicted of my evils, in my own mind.
I thought I tried to be a good kid. But I wasn't really all that great.
My childhood was a sort of disaster I think.
And there was a chance that I could have ended up as "Chaotic Evil" -----
But Jesus came by.
I don't know how good I could be said to be, but I'm not who I used to be anymore. I like myself more these days. I like my life more these days.
So, I try to be a good person. I'm not perfect, likely.
So if people didn't like me, thinking about my childhood: Maybe there'd be reasons for that. But I wasn't entirely smart as a kid, even if I did well in school.
But I'm different now.
Trying to understand what the right thing to do can be a task in different situations.
So, LOVE is a real good thing. LOVE AND PEACE.
Life isn't perfect, but it's getting better. I am convicted of a less than great childhood.
Uh, not where sure where to take this blog post anymore.
I wonder if people like me, but I realize my childhood wasn't the greatest, so it'd be no wonder if people don't or didn't like me.
But I'm a new person now, I'm different.
Who knows. Violence is for video games. Love and Peace are for life.