Friday, March 31, 2017

Getting Old and Fat

I'm getting older, and last time I got weighed I was about 440 pounds.

When I look in the mirror, I see that I'm chubby, but I'm not super-fat in my own eyes, I can feel good about the way I look.

But I know it's getting harder and harder to stand and walk for long hikes or anything like was once apt to do.

Housing has gotten cheap enough here in Calgary that I can now, likely afford to buy my own place to live (own, rather than rent).

A lower food budget increases my housing budget, and hopefully without the fast food I'll be able to lose some weight.

But there's a threat that I could end up being one of those super-bloated-bed-ridden fat guys who just sits around all day and eats.

Besides the fact that my brother isn't well, life at home with my parents is pretty good, and just being able to go up and down stairs multiple times a day might be doing me some good.

But, life is getting hopeless, I'm giving up hope of hitting it rich ------

I talk to GOD about getting gain, and though God expresses good intentions for me, he seems more interested in the homeless and those living in poverty.

I was once of those super poor guys God would help, but now I'm happy and comfortable, with all my needs taken care of (even if I'm not super-super-wealthy).

God sees that I have all my needs, and he seems to be more interested in helping the people with less than me, rather than helping me take more.

So life can feel kind of pointless, and with how weighty I'm getting it feels like there's a threat that I might end up being over-sized-bed-ridden-and-addicted-to-food.

A voice in my head, which I thought was God, but I'm not too sure, suggested I could just give all my products away for free because nobody wants to spend actual money on my work.

I'm even too lazy to lower all my prices from <$3 to $0.

I suppose I could tell God that if I sold a lot of product that I could help charitable organizations, but I doubt that's going to garner sales.

So, I'm not super-super wealthy, but I'm well-taken-care-of enough that I could end up being bed-ridden-with-fat if I'm not careful,

and God seems more interested in helping poorer people.

But who knows? Maybe it was God who helped me get over my fast-food addiction. I haven't bought a fast food burger since the 8th of March, and I'm not craving, so that's good.

So, just getting old fat and lazy, the hopes and chances of my life passed me by and God is more interested in helping the poor.

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