OK --- I think I'm smart enough to realize that I might sell books or video games, and the sales don't get reported to me personally like you'd think they should be.
I don't want to go into detail, I think it's just enough for me to say that I've seen evidence of likely sales online, and I know I'm just not being told about it.
But when I talk to God, to try to get an answer from God about what's going on (like, almost no one else has anything to say to me about it) --- God makes me feel good.
Whatever is going on with my earnings, I FEEL pretty powerfully and decently good about it.
I can think of all kinds of diverse and various places my money is going potentially, and it's not all bad or unexpectable. Most of the options for where it's going actually seem pretty legitimate in my mind.
Like, maybe I'm paying Canada Pension Plan, or maybe taxes are deducted, or maybe I'm paying back my disability --- who knows? There are so many expenses the government has, with all the help I've gotten from the government, maybe I can't help but not see anything reported.
And then ----- My life has had SO MANY BIG PROBLEMS in it, that maybe someone took an issue with me and my story and decided it's actually morally wrong to pay me. I hope this isn't the case, because I do get paid a little from time to time, but
If I were a capitalist, the socialists would take issue with me --- and if I'm a socialist, the capitalists would take issue with me -----
People don't agree on things, so when I've taken a side on an issue, it can perhaps be expected that someone else will take issue with that position.
All I can do is try to be like Jesus, and love my enemy.
Like, I've grown very unhappy with Mormonism for a long time, but last night my mom said things that helped me feel better --- and it was kind of in relation to the Mormon church --- and I started remembering some of the good things about my time as a Mormon and felt a bit better about the church.
Mormonism is so questionable in so many ways, and it's not perfect, it does good things and it does bad things, but I think they typically try to be "good", they try to do what they think is right, generally, I think, and you can't completely fault them for that.
But Morality can be very subjective, so yeah, there's going to be a zillion disagreements and arguments, and people will take issue with different things.
And though I think I can understand why the Amazon marketplace would start to favour the 2nd edition hardcopies of The Book of Finch over the 3.4 edition, this is kind of disappointing to me because 3.4 edition, in my opinion, is the better and more developed version of the story.
All throughout my publishings of books and video games, for a long time I would be making mistakes almost every step of the way, so the earlier versions of products are obviously completely crappy (in my opinion) compared to later versions. With video games, this is easily enough dealt with through electronic distribution, but with hardcopies of books, I guess it's a bit more difficult.
At least everyone can easily, more or less, access the 3.4 edition kindle ebook. And certain non-amazon sellers or marketplaces still make the 3.4 edition hardcopy available. So I guess it's not all so bad.
So yeah, I wonder and talk to God about how much money I really make and where that money goes --- and I end up just feeling quite good inside.