I lay down in bed, turned on my iPad --- and saw a notification for a talk Elder Quentin L Cook of the LDS Apostles was giving on Youtube this evening.
I decided to watch this presentation, from beginning to end -- I was right on time.
His wife talked about how everyone needs love, acceptance and success.
He talked about how we should set goals, and how to get past dangers in life. I mostly remember the stuff about the goal setting.
I have to say --- they did wonderful jobs giving their talks, with only a few minor slip-ups in their speech.
They definitely seem intelligent.
Elder Cook's talk of setting worthwhile goals and trying to achieve them, to not be distracted by "Saturday morning cartoons" --- definitely made me feel like I'm wasting my life.
Anyway, I can see some level of high moral character in what they're trying to teach. They definitely seem to be trying to do something good.
Considering all the good that's to be done in the world, and how I'm just wasting my life::: how can I evaluate Elder Cook's talk, or should I evaluate his church instead?
OK ---- So I definitely got a sort of impression that Elder Cook is a man of high moral character when I watched the program.
But, one goal I know I would like to achieve in my life would be to become a farmer --- I want to buy land in the countryside, and work the land, and I just wanna grow crops, as something useful I could do with my life.
In order to this, it is practically essential that I learn to drive an automobile. In fact, it's just plain essential that I get my greedy grubby paws on as much money as possible in order to afford this goal/dream.
Problem:::: I have written 3 books and an essay, and have 8 video games:::: And Elder Cook's Church hasn't bought crap from me.
If the church loved, accepted me, and wanted my success, why don't they all just pay the small price I ask for my product?
There have to at least be a million people left in the church --- and if these million people all bought my stuff ---- I would feel accepted, loved, and I would be successful. I would be able to achieve my goal of becoming a farmer who grows crops.
But the church don't give a hoot about me. Try as I might, the church ignores me, they don't care to love accepr ot help me succeed.
Why is that?
Well, my life was just absolute shit from the very beginning starting off at home with my family -----
And I used to love the church, as it tried to teach morality and good behaviour ------
But eventually, one family bore false witness against me, which nobody told me about to my face for years ----
And though I was going to serve God, the bishop accused me of making a deal with the devil ------
And though either the ghost of my grandma, or my grandmother's demon, sexually molested me right after my grandma died ------
the church punished me for being a sexual abuse victim.
I mean, maybe these true stories seem a little critical, and the church can't accept any form of criticism whatsoever even if it's true, so of course they don't give a hoot about me, and can't help me achieve doing something useful with my life.
So though Elder Cook seems all highly moral about doing good things with yourself ----
It's his own church's fault I'm wasting my life ----- all they have to do is pay me for my work, which they don't, so now I can't farm the land, and I'll never achieve my goals because disability welfare just isn't enough.
So, I respect the church for trying to be morally minded and teaching good things --- they definitely give that impression,
but in my actual experience they have performed SO absolutely poorly, that they can't even just admit a past mistake, and help me on my way to continue to try something else good. They can't admit my story is true or they hate the truth of it, and as such they will not give me the dollar to help me achieve my goals.
If I'm wasting my life, it's their own faults. They could buy massive quantities of my products at any time --- but they don't ---- so I never get to learn to drive a car.
Want to know why my Dad didn't just teach me or give me the education to drive? My Dad was very poor. Guess why? I mean, he was self employed, he had useful product ------ People just didn't want to pay him for it. People's inability to pay money has turned my life into a useless waste of time.
So there you go. Cook seems like a man of high moral character, but it's his own church's fault I'm wasting my life.