My life has more or less been stagnating for the past while - I'm not really going anywhere or doing much, except trying to sell a video game that probably won't sell.
I was laying down, and I have this incredible feeling of intensely fast movement come over me.
I'm not moving much, but I feel like I am absolutely flying. It's weird, it's like there's a magnet and I'm a piece of iron and I'm almost getting lifted out of my seat, sort of.
This is completely new to my sense of mental illness ----
but sometimes feeling things are indications of the world around us, or of things coming in life.
It almost felt as if I wasn't going to be living here anymore. I'm not quite sure how to interpret it.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Last night, when talking to GOD, I got the impression that God wanted good things for me and that I might be headed towards some kind of new start.
Or at least, that's what I remember or think I remember.
I just want to say that I really, really tried in my life. Things didn't turn out very well, though I suppose it could have been worse.
I was a good student. I paid attention in school, did my homework, tried to be well behaved, although I know I wasn't perfect.
Whether it be my circumstances or mental illness in people around me or who knows what --- I eventually snapped in my life, I had a breakdown ----- and things weren't working out very well.
Personally, I feel I can or could say that I really was trying my best in life, I tried so hard ----- but there was so much around me in my world that was just completely out of "whack".
So, I've tried - I tried to be a good boy. I really did. And yes I snapped --- if only you could look through the crystal ball to see what I had to put up with.
So yeah, I just have a maybe-psychic sense of intense movement, which I interpret to mean I'll be going somewhere, or something like that. I would hope for good things, but knowing my life and how things go it really might not be so good.
At least God seemed encouraging when I talked to Him last night. He did seem interested in my welfare.
And when I say "God" --- I mean the spiritual connection I make with a being that I had been taught to make such connection since I was very young.
Religions might misrepresent Him, so I'm not quite sure exactly how to define who He is. But he is there, I'm sure of it.
As for this feeling of extreme movement or momentum I think I feel, it's like I'm flying in a really fast aircraft or somesuch to that effect. It's a really weird sensation - and I don't know why.
1) Yesterday on Twitter I saw that Avril Lavigne posted a picture of herself flying over the British Columbian mountains.
2) Avril's husband, Chad Kroeger's band Nickelback plays a song about feeling like you are flying a million miles an hour.
It's just so weird how I'm feeling this, and how I relate it to someone I respect very much.