Realizing that maybe Cortex needs my money to stay in business or that maybe the social services is having me pay them back -
my biggest concern is no longer making money from my games.
Right now I'm just having a moment of "fear", wondering what people will think of "Coconuts versus Bananas".
It's unique in that I've never seen any game like it before (except for the two Bananatree games that already exist which I programmed), but how will that be received by the people who buy and play it?
My biggest fears have gone from "where's the money?" to "will people like me or my work?"
Yeah, at this point getting paid seems hopeless and is no longer the big concern --- the big concern is just making a video game which is fun and that people will like, while at the same time being different from what other people have created.
My other news story which I thought about writing last night but didn't, which I will just mention here - is how Facebook sends me these messages that say "Find more of your friends on Facebook".
I'm not a man of many friends, some of my few Facebook friends I don't even really know personally-
but the thing is the "friends" I used to have from church and school I ignore or have ignored me since I started using Facebook.
I used to have more friends - but I've come to view the church I attended as a not-so-good church which I try to be at peace with, but still have difficulty wanting to be around. I don't want to be around it actually, nor the people involved - though they were familiar.
And as for school --- in public school I didn't have a lot of friends, and the few "friends" I did have in public school ignore me ---
while the friends I had in FFCA weren't necessarily that great of a group to be around, so I stay away because of how misbehaved I knew them to be.
I mean, we may have freedom of association laws in Canada, but one of my favourite friends from FFCA is "not allowed to be my friend" because of an unofficial rule made by the people around us, or by the church. I mean, FFCA just wasn't good company. My mom forced me to go there --- but that school seemed to be the school for insane children, really.
So, Facebook is constantly reminding me to find more of my friends, but either I don't know people, or some old friends ignore me, while I don't even want to be involved with others because I take a a dim view of the situation, or others take a dim view of the relationship.
And I guess I might as well end by saying that life's been an adventure, my real life feels like an RPG - I don't know how to explain how I wish situations in the past had been better, but knowing what I know --- there is so much wrong and I did my best. I hope people don't hold the crap of my situations against me.
After writing the above post, I received a developer newsletter from Razer saying Cortex payments to devs can now be done through Pay Pal - which means I can forgo trying to get paid through my Dad's bank account. I would use my Dad's bank account because my bank doesn't have a SWIFT code for wire transfers.
So, maybe I will get paid.
I emailed Cortex dev support, however, to tell them that my payment preferences were not saving properly. Someone actually responded too! Saying they were sending my problem to a couple other guys at the company.
Hopefully this will work out.
Hopefully my next game will work out too. Yay.