Friday, April 29, 2016

Comic-Con in Calgary

So, today was Comic Con in Calgary.

You'd think I'd have been there --- except I'm yet to get paid, yet to learn to drive a car, yet to buy a car, and my family is busy with other responsibilities right now, so it didn't fit in my transportation, nor was I keeping track of when it would be --- but I wouldn't have gone anyway because my family is really-really not in the "mood" right now, just busy with other things.


On the news, they said they had all kinds of Canadian Celebrities at the Comic Con, and they showed a list of names including "Kristian Bruuen". Then there was an X through the 'e' in Bruuen, making me wonder if this was a reference to myself not actually attending,

and then I found Kristian Bruun on Wikipedia - he's a Canadian Sci-Fi Actor.

Apparently his real first name is Charles, which is interesting because in High School I was known as "Chuckles".

So, the guy has a same given name as me (Kristian) and the name "Bruun" kind of matches up with "Blaine", "Banana" and "Blanchevi" ---- yes, I can see the resemblance.


Should I interpret this as an invitation for myself to go to comic-con? That would be hilarious ---- but I need to make more money just so I can transport myself there.


And this year my family was busy, so it just wasn't happening, and I knew it wasn't happening long before today. Not that I paid much attention to it. Sadly.



I really have to get creative to keep this going I think. So much work to do.



But I did some work today::: I fixed a bug in Coconuts versus Bananas, I tested a possibility for the game which I ended up rejecting because it wasn't going to be fun --- I removed double-hitting from the game to keep the game working in a "fun" way (in my definition of fun), and I tweaked the grow times of Bananas and Coconuts.


So, I did some work today, and I was unable to attend comic-con. Very interesting that they have a "like"-named celebrity listed there on the news though. Fun.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Just an update about the game

How am I doing? I am well, I am peaceful, I am happy, I am wondering why I keep finding these pirating websites with tens TO thousands of people per site ripping off my books --- it would be so nice if people would pay me!

This is just an update to talk about what my most recent work on my game has been, and a bit more:

I put an aiming reticle on the heads up display in my game. Aiming was just too difficult without the reticle, so I put one in. Now it's a LOT easier.

I increased the amount of time it takes to grow a coconut. Technical reason --- increasing the time to grow a coconut reduces the number of coconuts, because with tonnes of coconuts sitting around, the computer has a hard time detecting when to pick up a coconut. All kinds of coconuts everywhere but can't pick one up? that situation makes no sense in real life, although it makes sense on a computer --- but by reducing the number of coconuts, I hope to fix that problem, and reduce the number by growing them slower.

I'm thinking about increasing the amount of time it takes to grow a banana too. Though that moves it out of line with past games, it might make sense due to the nature of this new game, especially as this new game can be played for 5, 10, or 20 minutes at a time.

So, things are fine. I didn't particularly need to write this post --- but I did want to talk a bit about my most recent work.

Friday, April 22, 2016

Maybe I'll Finally be paid! Three cheers!

I had just given up hope of ever getting paid for my video games - when earlier today Razer sent out a dev newsletter and stated that they would now be accepting PayPal as a payment method for paying royalties to developers.

YAY!!

Previously, I was planning on using my Dad's bank account to accept payment because my own bank doesn't have a SWIFT code for wire transfers, but now I can use my own PayPal and that just makes life so much easier!

There was a problem where when I tried to enter my pay pal info in the dev portal that the information wouldn't save properly --- and Cortex wasn't very responsive about this issue, but I still managed to solve the problem myself and get it to work. Yippee!!!

This is just so exciting. My sales and downloads haven't been reported to me since February 29th, so I have no idea how much or when I'll ever get paid ---- but things are sure looking up! :)

Public Reaction

Realizing that maybe Cortex needs my money to stay in business or that maybe the social services is having me pay them back -

my biggest concern is no longer making money from my games.

Right now I'm just having a moment of "fear", wondering what people will think of "Coconuts versus Bananas".

It's unique in that I've never seen any game like it before (except for the two Bananatree games that already exist which I programmed), but how will that be received by the people who buy and play it?

My biggest fears have gone from "where's the money?" to "will people like me or my work?"

Yeah, at this point getting paid seems hopeless and is no longer the big concern --- the big concern is just making a video game which is fun and that people will like, while at the same time being different from what other people have created.


<><><>


My other news story which I thought about writing last night but didn't, which I will just mention here - is how Facebook sends me these messages that say "Find more of your friends on Facebook".

I'm not a man of many friends, some of my few Facebook friends I don't even really know personally-

but the thing is the "friends" I used to have from church and school I ignore or have ignored me since I started using Facebook.

I used to have more friends - but I've come to view the church I attended as a not-so-good church which I try to be at peace with, but still have difficulty wanting to be around. I don't want to be around it actually, nor the people involved - though they were familiar.

And as for school --- in public school I didn't have a lot of friends, and the few "friends" I did have in public school ignore me ---

while the friends I had in FFCA weren't necessarily that great of a group to be around, so I stay away because of how misbehaved I knew them to be.

I mean, we may have freedom of association laws in Canada, but one of my favourite friends from FFCA is "not allowed to be my friend" because of an unofficial rule made by the people around us, or by the church. I mean, FFCA just wasn't good company. My mom forced me to go there --- but that school seemed to be the school for insane children, really.

So, Facebook is constantly reminding me to find more of my friends, but either I don't know people, or some old friends ignore me, while I don't even want to be involved with others because I take a a dim view of the situation, or others take a dim view of the relationship.

<><><>



And I guess I might as well end by saying that life's been an adventure, my real life feels like an RPG - I don't know how to explain how I wish situations in the past had been better, but knowing what I know --- there is so much wrong and I did my best. I hope people don't hold the crap of my situations against me.




UPDATE::::::
After writing the above post, I received a developer newsletter from Razer saying Cortex payments to devs can now be done through Pay Pal - which means I can forgo trying to get paid through my Dad's bank account. I would use my Dad's bank account because my bank doesn't have a SWIFT code for wire transfers.

So, maybe I will get paid.

I emailed Cortex dev support, however, to tell them that my payment preferences were not saving properly. Someone actually responded too! Saying they were sending my problem to a couple other guys at the company.

Hopefully this will work out.

Hopefully my next game will work out too. Yay.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Business and Healthy Foods

So, I decided to brew myself some Green Tea this afternoon. I then asked Siri "What are the health benefits of Green Tea?" - because I had heard Green Tea has some good qualities about it.

According to the article Siri returned to me, Green Tea is one of the healthiest drinks you can gulp down, or even is THE healthiest drink if I understood the article properly.

And I've heard of some scientific reports that drinking Coffee -- generally the more the better -- that drinking coffee actually helps prevent type 2 diabetes.

All my life, growing up in the LDS Mormon Church, I was only ever told that Coffee and Tea are so completely wrong, to never touch them because I was told they were poison. This church told me that these two drinks were against their health code.

But according to actual science I'm looking up on the internet - these two drinks are actually really quite GOOD for you, with scientifically perceived health BENEFITS.

The church would let you gulp down all kinds of sugary juices and pops (as long as they weren't caffeinated pops) --- and sugar is proven to be a health risk ---

So this kind of bothers me, that two drinks which are actually quite good for you were said to be completely wrong while the sugary stuff which could be considered poison was totally allowed.

WTF????


<><><>


I suppose in my own business, I might come across as maybe "slightly" sort of "misleading" with my Coconuts versus Bananas video game which is upcoming.

In this game, to not reveal too many details --- Coconuts will lower your health, while Bananas will increase your health. When you understand the history of the video game series, and when you understand how the coconuts are going to be used --- it could be understood how this situation in game rules would arise ----

But according to this health report I get in email, I've understood from this health report that Bananas are actually "less healthy" fruits while Coconuts are quite good for you.

I suppose, I myself, might have some issues making Coconuts lower your health and Bananas increase your health ----

But when you understand that the Bananatrees are the protagonists and that the Coconuts are being thrown like dodgeballs --- maybe that explains how this situation arises in my game? heh. :)


<><><>

In other news, I'm so happy --- I was looking at Cortex/OUYA's documentation, and I'm so glad I actually found the docs that explain how to get the icon to display properly on the main screen in Android TV. I'm so glad I found that --- it would have sucked more if I was using the wrong icon for this game. :)

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Received a request in email

I've received an actual legit looking LinkedIn request in my email this evening from someone I don't know who happens to live and work in my local area somewhere.

Just so I am clear: I don't use instagram, tumblr, snapchat, or LinkedIn.

I mean, the thing that scared me about using LinkedIn is that LinkedIn is supposed to be for professionals, and as a disability recipient who develops lackluster titles for OUYA, I am more of an amateur than a professional.

I'm no Destiny Developer, I'm no Call of Duty or Battlefield series developer.

As my psychiatric nurse put it: I am a hobbyist.



Just today as I was thinking about how much money I wish I could earn, I started thinking thoughts to calm myself down saying that I'm no pro at game development, I'm a small fish in a big pond and I may be a pretty gimped fish compared to the others as well.


It's kind of exciting that I'm famous enough to be contacted by a stranger in my local area on a social network I don't even use - but I mean, I am not a professional, and even in my hobbyist amateur game development I make all kinds of mistakes and can be absent minded.

The great thing about game development is if you make a mistake in development it's not the end of the world, unlike how it might be in other professions.


I'm also pretty introverted, and I'm questioning what someone who works at an oil company could want with me.


Maybe I'm just freaking out that this is LinkedIn -- the PROFESSIONAL social network, and I don't consider myself to be all that professional.

Monday, April 18, 2016

Congratulations on Success

My one company I publish through, Lulu, has been sending me a lot of discounts lately for purchasing print books.

Their most recent email says "We're successful when you're successful. Congratulations on your success" - to paraphrase.

Of course, they are basically implying that I am successful, and with a pirating website reporting almost 10,000 reviews on just one of my books, I can see that I've gone some level of viral.

But --- no sales reported. You'd think with that many thousands of copies stolen that I'd have more sales, right?

I imagine I probably have had sales, I don't think EVERYONE is that cheap to not pay anything --- so, why no report?

I can think of a number of reasons why there's no report, so if you paid and I'm complaining about not being paid, just realize there could be a reason.

Maybe I'm paying back all the social supports I've used over the past 10 years.

Maybe, with how the US banking system works, there are 9 other people who have a claim on the dollar bill used to pay me, and with 9 people in the US having a claim on that piece of paper maybe it can't come to Canada, where I am.

What I mean is::: most "money" in the US is just a number on a computer screen, the actual physical bills don't actually necessarily exist because the money in your bank account gets lent out by the bank. Therefore, 9 other people could have a claim on the dollar that was used to buy my book, and maybe for that reason I can't be paid.

Who knows. There's all sorts of possibilities about why I don't see sales. Which kind of sucks because I grew up poor, and I can't drive a car, and I need a way of making money so I can buy things like my own place to live.

If I just can't make money from selling things, dang. I understand there are probably reasons --- but it's just so sad how, in my life thus far, being totally completely successful eludes me over and over again repetitively, even if I'm on the brink of success, even on the verge of success, often enough the great success finds a way to evade me. Argh.

Oh well. I'll be happy with what I have --- it's not that bad having to live with my parents.

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Looked up my book online

I looked up my book online.

I found a pirating website.

Aftermath got almost 10,000 reviews, with over a 4/5 rating.

How nice.

If I didn't get disability, the fact that no one paid would be taken a lot harsher I'm sure.



So, I'm in a state of happiness in my life, contentment with myself and with the world. I am aware that there are problems out there, but I think I can say I generally feel healthy about my existence, which is pretty good considering my life history.

Just getting along with people, doing good things, being peaceable.




I grew up poor, so I know what it's like to not feel capable of paying for things. Believe me, there are a number of things that I didn't feel I could buy when I was in high school just because of how poor I felt, so I understand, more or less, why I didn't get paid for my books.




My high school had all these vending machines in the public areas --- yet I almost never used them, just because I felt so poor. I was so poor I had to reuse my brother's old copy of Hamlet in English class rather than buy my own copy. I skipped the trip to Edmonton because I didn't think my family could afford it. Things like that. That's how it goes when your father is unemployed.


I did, however, order a yearbook ---- but because my brain wasn't working very well, I completely forgot and neglected to pick it up when the time came --- so I ordered a yearbook, but forgot to receive it. :(

I couldn't buy a class ring or anything like that.


Anyway, I just understand the mentality where it's hard to pay for things, I've been there.



One recent thought I had about how poor I was ---- the juxtaposition of being told to serve a $10,000+ mission for the LDS church while my Dad kept mooching fivers off my brother every morning just so he could buy fuel for his daily driving routine. My Dad couldn't even afford to drive --- it was my brother that kept the vehicle going. I mean, just think about that --- we can barely afford fuel to get around in, the church is taking 10% of our income, and we're expected to pay for our own missions that'd cost over $10,000. Yeah right.


I feel I can be at peace with "the church" now, and though there are some good things they taught, I feel that I might find resentment if I try to say something good about them. Yeah, it's that bad.




So, I'm just trying to be peaceful and get along, enjoying my life,


and it's nice that almost 10,000 reviewers had my book at over 4 stars rating.


And when you've been writing and developing video games as long as I have, I have learned that it might be too much to expect every person in the public who wants my product to pay the smallest price for it. The sad thing is, I even know what that's like, to "can't afford things".


So, I'm peaceful, I'm happy, I feel good that people appreciated my writing. And though I would've wanted to make my fortune from sales, I also know what it's like to be poor.

There.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Telepathy Tests and 'Happy' Bank Stuff

I haven't done any telepathy tests for quite a while, except I did 3 today.

The first I did with my Mom, and she said "Z" and "6" and I responded with "Z" and "G". The third character I got completely wrong.

That test was real nice to do, first one for a while, to get a character exactly correct, and get "close" or "look alike" for the other.



I did a test with my Dad, which I completely got wrong.





And then, for the first time in history as far as I'm aware ---- I did a telepathy test with my brother.

He said "0 5 Q".

I responded with "O" and "J" and another character I got wrong.

This test obviously wasn't perfect, but my O compare well enough with his 0 and Q, and my J does, in fact, bear some resemblance to his 5, so that was fun.



<><><>


I was watching some TV --- I saw a commercial from BMO (Bank of Montreal). It was the "SMILE Acronym" commercial, where they say they have no acronym/script.

That just brightened up my day. For reasons I will not explain here --- that commercial just made me so happy. I'm not going to explain why here though.




And in other banking news, the bank I have my checking account at has its own new commercial --- and a special offer for my savings account.


Maybe I shouldn't go into detail, I mean, maybe this is the sort of thing I should keep to myself --- though it makes me happy the bank I actually bank at has made this commercial and made this special offer --- I'm also kind of groaning inside.  The "groaning" is comparable to "corny joke" groaning, although it's not a joke and nothing is corny.

It's basically a "this sounds good/fun" but "it's just horrible in a way when you think about it". It's not a "bad" thing, it's just ----


Let me explain::: my bank released a commercial all about working hard. They say we work hard for our money in their commercial.

And, they offered me an awesome special offer that I somehow qualified for --- for special savings, up to $500,000.

It's just the juxtaposition of a "work hard" commercial, reminding me of all the work I've done, and then saying "you qualify for special savings up to a maximum of $500,000" when I haven't really even been paid for my work.

I guess it's a "Juxtaposition" groaner, that's what I'll call it. "You work hard, here, have this great savings offer up to $500,000" while in reality I have a negative bank balance at their bank and I'm not even getting paid for all the hard work I've done.

I feel it's nice that my bank would recognize hard work, and that they'd make me feel "special" by qualifying me for special savings,

but juxtaposed with how my hard work has not yet paid off, yeah, it's a groaner.


But, I am happy.

<><><>


As for video game news: my Dad had an idea for how I might be able to play test the game in 1 week, and hopefully that will happen, we'll just have to wait and see. So, there's not much of a timeline for game release right now. "when it's done". :)

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

I Deleted my own past several posts

I woke up this morning and realized that maybe I didn't want my blog to discuss what it was discussing anymore, and would prefer to keep the concentration on my upcoming video game, so I deleted my own past latest several posts.


As for play testing my upcoming game - I was told I'd have to wait a week longer than originally scheduled. Sucks!

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Progress and Social Life

I am really thankful for my psychiatrist, because I can talk to her and she listens, and I can just unload anything on my mind when I'm with her - that's real nice.

But that only happens maybe once every three weeks.

Whenever I'm excited, concerned, scared, whatever, whenever I want to talk to someone, I often have no one to talk to.

I can talk to my Dad, but that's not written (I like writing) and I often get the impression he doesn't like hearing me talk and he's not really totally paying attention anyway.

I can talk on my blog --- but making too many posts too quickly is not a good thing, I think.

One reason I felt having a girlfriend was such a good thing for me, was that she'd be someone I could talk to --- but then I end up just "spamming" her, and maybe she wouldn't like that.

I've got issues --- lots to say, no one to say it to.

<><><>

I'm making lots of progress on my next (7th) video game title, I've been working for numerous hours each day since Monday on this project.

And yes, it does just build on top of the past Bananatree games, but in a way that will hopefully be fun. It's for 4 players. And it's not just planting trees anymore either. Each character now has a HEALTH BAR. HAHAHAHA. :)

Sunday, April 3, 2016

7th Video Game Idea

So, I was helping my sister move today, when I was "inspired" with an idea for a seventh video game.

I will reveal now that it will or should be the THIRD game in the Bananatree Series, and basically just creatively adds upon the previous titles.

Although, it won't be in the "KIDS" section because part of the very nature of my idea will automatically make the game for older kids, like 9+ or 12+.

If I do eventually complete this project, understand that I'm really just doing it for fun at this point --- Razer Cortex/OUYA doesn't report any sales or downloads to me anymore, so I'm not aware of things and can not expect to make money.

I would like to charge $1.99 for this game, to help keep Cortex in business, but because I'm not a top-level developer, I might only be able to get away with a $0.99 price tag with the stingy gaming public.


And yeah, that's basically my announcement for today. My mind is clear of all else, except for maybe a bit of a self-conscious thought process that I have been too much of a trouble in my life and wondering if I have brought unpaid servitude upon myself by having been naughty in any way at any point in life.

I really tried to be a good boy growing up, but in the words in Jesus, I can paraphrase that NO ONE IS GOOD --- Only GOD is good. I think Jesus did say that actually, or something like it.

I tried to be a good person, but it all goes so wrong. I mean, seriously, there are explanations for why life got so screwed up, but I don't want to get into that here on this blog.


Anyway, new video game idea. Also have to work on taxes and stuff to report to the government. Amid moving my sister's family to a new place.

Saturday, April 2, 2016

Worked anyway - YouTube weird thing

So after about half an hour of leaving me at home, it was decided my help was necessary so I worked anyway. Great.

On a side note: on more than one occasion now, when I start up YouTube on an iOS device, there will be a flag with a number 1 pointing at the little man tab picture. I look at that little man tab and nothing is there out of the ordinary.

Again, wondering. I hope I'm not in trouble, but anyway - just a strange thing and I don't know.

Not Allowed to Work Because of Religious Beliefs

Today myself, my mom and my dad were getting ready to get out of the house so we could help my sister move into a new place.

Idly, I said "I'm the sk8er boi, though I never actually skate boarded".

Then I thought and said "But, if I couldn't afford a skate board, then technically I really was a punk".

My mom said "You weren't a punk!"

And I said "A punk is a worthless individual, if I couldn't afford a skateboard, then I was pretty worthless and therefore I was a punk"

My mom responded "You are a child of God, you aren't worthless".

OK --- just so you know, my Mom raised me in the LDS Mormon religion, and the Mormons took every opportunity they could to indoctrinate me, and even drive me to be obsessive about their religion.

But, now that I'm older and wiser, I know a few things, and I just decided to pull out a book of Mormon scripture from 3rd Nephi where Jesus basically said "If you accept me, then you BECOME a child of God".

I felt kind of eager to discuss the issue of "child of God" with my Mom, but my Mom blasted at me "IF YOU ARE GOING TO TALK RELIGION THEN STAY HOME!"

Basically, I'm not allowed to work because I have a religious opinion.

My Mom was allowed to hoist her religious belief on me by even mentioning the Child of God thing, and I was most definitely not allowed to respond to that.

My Dad did something interesting however, after my Mom left the house, he came in, curious, wondering what I was about to say to her on the topic of "children of God".

Usually my Dad doesn't like hearing religion from me, but this time he was actually curious and inquired privately.

I basically just told him how Mormons like telling their kids that they are automatically children of God straight out of the womb, but that The Book of Mormon scripture I quoted is closer to actual Christian belief that says you become a child of God rather than just automatically being born as one.

Basically, The Book of Mormon had more authentically-Christian thought in it then what Joseph Smith eventually turned the religion into ---- and this one point alone shows a complete flaw in the whole theology and history of Mormonism that should make it clear the church is a sham---

My Dad said something about how I did understand the actual truth (more or less he said that) and that it was too bad I wouldn't becoming to work, although I don't remember exactly and he said it in much fewer words.



So: there you go: my Mom was allowed to shove all this religion down my throat all my life, even brings it up herself in discussion, and I am not allowed to respond with the things that I have learned and understood about religion.


The UN rights of a child say that children HAVE THE RIGHT to choose their own religion ---- but to my Mom my nieces and nephews must absolutely be indoctrinated with the Mormon way, must absolutely be driven to have faith in Mormon Jesus, and I'm not allowed to express my own viewpoint on the truth that I actually do know.

Basically, UN Child Rights say that kids should be choosing for themselves, but my Mom is holding me back from preaching what I understand and is, like she did to me, forcing Mormonism down their throats.




So, basically, Christians believe that Mankind is God's CREATION -- and that by accepting Jesus and being saved we BECOME children of God,

While Mormons believe that everyone is a child of God right from the beginning,


and the simple fact that The Book of Mormon teaches the closer to the Christian version shows that Joseph Smith was actually morphing the doctrine over time, thusly, more less, disproving the Mormon religion.


And my Mom has to force the Mormons on the children, and I'm not allowed to say anything.


I'm not even allowed to work because my Mom can talk to me about her religion, but I'm not allowed to respond.


It's just nice, even a comforting thought, that my Dad would actually take the time to ask me what I was going to say, and even verify that I actually understood the actual truth. :)


But, it is a sad situation, all in all, I guess.