Thursday, March 31, 2016

Email and Stuff

So, I was watching this TV Episode on netflix, for a new series/season of a tv show I like --- and in this episode, the protagonists discover that NO ONE in their community even has money to pay them with --- everyone is dirt poor, and can't even afford cheaper items.

To me, this seems like a representation of the market as I try to earn the smallest amounts of money, but who knows what's really going on there ---


So, I've got a brother right now who seems to be thinking that he'd also like to experiment with my ideas of Telepathy.  He hasn't said it that way outright- and he has been at least a little crazy of late, but basically the idea is that he seems to have gotten into the telepathic belief system more or less, as I have understood him.


A day or two ago, he said he was talking to a Russian in his mind, and this Russian was interested in my ability to write computer software, this russian wanted to know what languages I knew.

My brother explained to me that I could likely expect (or not expect if it's just his craziness) email from Russia soon ----


And guess what? I turned on my computer just now, checked my email, and boom, there's a girl in Russia who sent me a message who wants to talk.

I've actually received at least 3 other emails from Russian & Area ladies in the past who want to talk or even "hook up" - more or less - so, yes, of all the nations in the world who are sexually interested, Russian Ladies seem to have the most interest in me it seems (or, at least, being male I see her pretty face and it's automatically about sex at that point, although maybe it's not about "hooking up" in this email").

I mean, From a past experience I determined that I just wasn't wealthy enough to even think of attempting a relationship with a woman, much less a woman on the other side of the world, so I've had a tendency to let every lady slide (meaning, I immediately ignore them) who ever comes along.


It's just interesting my brother pretty much said I could expect email from Russia and boom, just a day or two later, here one is. Will I respond? I'm not sure. She looks pretty but I can not afford romance nor am I a professionally trained programmer. (I taught myself the programming stuff, mostly).



And lastly, with all of Canada's NDP and Liberal social programs going on at this point, you'd think I'd be seeing all the great programs they have advertised to me::: you know, like maybe a grant for my "art" or the Alberta Treasury Branch encouraging me to start a business. But no, I only get my social assistance and no advertisements of anything greater.

But despite me being a canadian and not having been in the US for a very long time, the USA is brimming with advertisements in my email of opportunities I might be able to take --- if I lived in the US.

I mean, you have to be careful, because you don't really know who to trust necessarily,

but I've received american emails talking about borrowing money to start a business, handouts from celebrities, come to our school, all that --- and this evening I had an email with an actual US government URL mentioned of how I could be eligible to take a US Government Education Grant to get educated in the US! Of course, I mean, just seeing that there, and seeing americans advertising to me like that, and noticing how Canada doesn't make me aware of these things nearly as well, and you have to wonder.

Anyway, thinking about life, if I were to go back to school, I'd probably want to take Driver's Ed first of all ---- I'm 31 years old, and have always been too poor to learn to drive a car. I'm always having to rely on someone else's schedule to get around.

But, in all seriousness, the money the US government would offer as a grant for education is still probably a pittance compared to what the Alberta government gives me to stay out of trouble and feel happy and live comfortably in my Parents' basement.



So, a bunch of stuff about life in this post, a  TV show observing how people just can't or won't pay for things, and most interestingly a brother who told me to expect email from Russia and he actually turned out to be RIGHT! Amazing huh?

Although, if this Russian Lady is actually wanting my programming, I do not know up front from her email, and I'm not sure I will respond, especially since she wrote to an email I don't really use anymore and the service provider has had serious server problems in sending from that address for many years.

Doing my Taxes

So yesterday I sat down to work on my taxes.

I gathered together all of my records on money I made through book sales.

I learned something interesting from the figures:

The amount of money I earned for 2015 from AuthorHouse in Canadian Dollars was $7.77.

The amount of money I earned for 2015 from AuthorHouse, KDP and Lulu combined, was apparently $23.01CAD.

Whether it's the publishers, the bank, or both, these numbers are clearly sending me the message that my reported earnings are a joke.

After having written The Book of Finch, and then getting numbers like that adding up in my income tax, something is just being too terribly funny right now.

So, no, I probably DON'T get everything I sell actually reported to me, these numbers are a joke I would think (although, they do appear to be what my serious tax report to the government will say).

Just so no one flies off the handle about anything that is "obviously" going wrong here:

I can think of at least 3 or 4 possible or potential reasons why my earnings aren't reported to me.

And to be honest, most of those reasons are probably legally legitimate and considering the circumstances there's really not much I can do.

Of course, there is also the illegitimate reason why I might lose money --- but it seems unlikely that every company I work with would be that way with me, and with all the rest of their clients as well --- so no, I am not accusing anyone, because that actually seems like the worst reason.

Other places my money might go:

The Canadian Government Wants it.
The American Government Wants it.
The Alberta Government Wants it.
I might be paying back the money I took as social support for the past 11 years.
It might, for whatever reason, maybe even end up somewhere else "legitimate" that I'm not going to mention by name because I don't want to directly speculate such a thing without knowing absolutely.


So anyway, there are any number of places the money could go for any number of reasons. And it's not necessarily absolutely all wrong.






The good thing is::: with the money I do have, I am able to live my life pretty comfortably anyways, so it's not like I absolutely needed to be super rich or anything.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Rankings and Reports

Remember my post a week or two ago when I bought the last ranked game on Forge Arcade called "sheep in hell" and the game went from last (70) to about 31?

In the past few days, since Avril tweeted me, Pfhonge went from about last in Forge Arcade, to 29th today.

And ICBM went from the dumps to a really quite highly ranked position on all if its rankings (although, the ZRank hasn't updated for a while).

Well, my games have gone up considerably in rank, yet no activity has been reported in my dev portal since February 29th. Maybe a crash report came in, but that's all, though the crash report is hard to tell since I don't think I'm always memorizing them.

So, what is going on here?

It's strange, with my books and video games, seeing changes and what looks like activity in related published sources online, yet not seeing much in the way of reports.

What could it be?

It's too bad I'm Canadian, and am not acquainted with American laws nor do I live in the US so I can't investigate very well, and also I'm kind of poor so it'd be hard to hire help anyway,

But yeah. Huh.

I did all that work, writing, updating, making sure everything is more or less good, I advertised, and wham::: I can't even see reports apparently.

I have small ideas about might be going on with my extremely limited experience/knowledge, but I don't know anything for certain so I probably shouldn't speculate.

It's just too bad. I tried, and I am apparently not even being fully reported to.

Is it wrong for me to post this on my blog? or is this just a "business SOS"?

We'll see where this all goes, not that I can do much.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Latest Media

So, in the past two days I've seen two newly released medias --- a new TV episode just released and a newly released movie in the cinema.

Both medias each had a character named "Finch" in them.

And of course we can't forget "Finn" from Star Wars can we?

I used to identify so closely with that self-chosen name for years - so of course it's kind of like I'm seeing myself again - sort of.

There was a TV show episode from a decade ago where they named the minor character "Christian" and the episode even seemed to predict the coming of The Number 23 movie --- it just looked like a reference to myself.

I guess I've done enough with my life to really impress someone or some people, because for a long time now I feel like I just see myself in media.

How did things get like this?

Because I was a boyscout --- and I took the promise "I promise to do my best" seriously, I guess. I mean, I was pretty decent at what I did, but I guess I really put forth the effort. Just doing your best gets you far in life, it seems.

Basically, I just would want to inspire whoever reads my blog to do their best, to be good people, it's not possible as far as I know to be perfect, but there's no harm in trying to be the best you can be.

I'm speaking as the top of the class in school, as a valedictorian and generally-nice-well-behaved-guy.

But really, it's just in my state of mind right now to be reminded of myself when I see these Finchy names in new media.

It is also a reminder that my LDS patriarch may have been capable of predicting a bit of the future --- in so many ways Mormonism is or seems so wrong, yet in other ways to does appear to have some at least tiny bit of good value to it.

I was thinking of other things this evening too --- but now I can't remember any of that. Just excited by all the sudden mention of characters named "Finch".

Oh - I remember something - when I first called myself Finch, I was young and inexperienced enough that I didn't know the word was actually used as an actual family surname at the time. I just called myself after the bird, because I needed a pseudonym.

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Very Small Twitter Surprise

So, having been blasted around the internet by Avril Lavigne, still getting messages of Retweets and Favorites from her mention of me, and having made ONE tweet myself about my visit to the zoo the other day::

Somehow a green energy website for Alberta discovered my twitter and followed me.

I am so happy to see that someone actually took some interest in me.

I do support the idea of Alberta using green energy, however that works, but I don't control this household's billing and I know my Dad has a bunch of brain problems about a number of issues.

Everyone in my family has had their mental problems I think (some more severe than others), but with my Dad, he seems to think this way: "If it's not a Conservative government, then it's not a valid/legal government".

I know, as I was out with my Dad for a bit today, the things he was saying at that moment led me to think my own thoughts about how "mentally ill" he is, to put it simply.

I'm just saying, that I myself may be considered perhaps a soft supporter of green energy policies in Alberta, I'm not hardcore for it, but I'm not against it either.

However, my Dad is hardline against anything set up by Liberals or NDP that might cost money.

Just to let you know: My Dad and I are not the same person, but he controls more of the household affairs than I do.

I could ramble on for a very long time about the way I look at mental illness in my family, but I won't --- it'd take a lot of writing and would be mostly off-topic to the discussion of green energy. The basic point of mentioning the mental illness thing is that my Dad is mentally ill enough that he is strongly opposed to green energy ideas (as I've understood).

I have a deep internal want or desire or urge to write about mental issues in my family, if even just to complain, but I know I shouldn't.

And there you go.

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On a side note, it is pretty cool for me to be noticed by the green energy Alberta thing.

Over 99.9% of Avril's followers didn't seem to take any interest in me, and that was disappointing, but I'm glad someone "cared".

Also: If my name got blasted out to 19.8million people on twitter by a celebrity, and none of those people could be bothered to listen to anything I say, I think I can declare that I can give up on trying to create entertainment to sell for low cost. I'm pretty much going out of business.

I'm not completely out, as ICBM did go up in rank substantially since Avril's tweet, but even so just high rank doesn't do it: I don't see much money coming in. The OUYA/Forge Dev Portal hasn't reported any activity since the end of February even though I got tweeted and went up in rank, so who knows what is going on.


And lastly, it will be so nice, I hope, when Ubuntu 16.04 LTS comes out, as I was writing this article, Ubuntu 15.10 froze, again. Annoying. But I can hope.

Thursday, March 24, 2016

On Internet "Control"

Well, I put an email address up in my OUYA game profiles for people to write to for comments, suggestions, and bug reports.

Guess what? No one writes. I get commercial advertisements at that address, but nothing constructive has been said, which does make me wonder if there's any censorship or if most people really don't give a dang about my games which appear on a console that was funded through multi-million dollar kickstarter campaign.

Well, this evening I actually got a message! Someone Cc'd me about some music to listen to on Apple Music. Unfortunately, I couldn't listen, because the song was in the US, and I'm Canadian, so I couldn't hear it --- which only just illustrates controls and restrictions online.

To tell the truth, it is actually vividly realistic how I see the controls and restrictions put in place. And though I don't make money, it might be a good thing, such as for mental health purposes.

You see, when I was a kid, I think about my childhood at home::: and the kids in the family were insane.

At school:::: the kids were insane. Especially at FFCA. Yes, I must note that the insanity could be cut with a butterknife at FFCA, although Public School I would say was more tame with the "zero tolerance" policies set it place.

Church was insane.

The days I spent in the earliest versions of Avril Lavigne's fanclub were insane.

When I was first introduced to the mental health department for my own problems, my Dad pointed out to me that there are a LOT of people in the world who don't have it together in their heads.

I have to say, Psychiatry as done some really wonderful things, mental hospitals are actually pretty decent places,

but the way you need a mental hospital becomes clear after all the time you've spent with all kinds of insane people growing up all your life.

Maybe I personally had it really bad, I have a family with mental health issues, so I went to a school with mental health issues, and the church had obvious mental health issues ----

And somehow Avril Lavigne's early fanclub also had completely seriously insane mental issues.


I remember on Avril's fanclub, I would be trying to talk about something in a thead on her forum, and someone would constantly write posts on the topic saying "change the subject" --- I mean, I was saying what I had to say, but someone else felt they had the right or ability or imperative to control me -- which I didn't agree with, I was going to say what I had to say, and I really didn't think it was reasonable to constantly demand changing the subject rather than just having a polite or at least good or reasonable discussion. I basically said that if he didn't want to discuss this topic, he could go look at a different thread, because really, he didn't need to harass me to tell me not to discuss what I wanted to discuss.



In this internet of communication controls, where either people are ignoring me or I'm not allowed to see all the insanity that comes up, I do have to say I am a lot more comfortable than actually having to deal with all the complete attitude and mental illness that went around back in those days.


Only problem is: with internet controls, maybe I'm not seeing reports properly, and therefore I don't get paid for my efforts. Who knows.


Another way to illustrate the insanity and how the internet might be controlled is this:::

Back in FFCA, I had classmates who were "friends", but to be completely honest, their behaviour really wasn't right, and it was in fact quite wrong and technically illegal I'd bet.

Anyway, I once sent maybe one or two facebook messages to this old classmate, and he never responded.

Clear evidence of internet control.  The government knew how those kids behaved, and we are completely cut off, however how, for any number of reasons.


So, I go through life, alone, with my family, having memories of an insane history, not getting paid much, but still given enough to live with, and really, that's life. I could have hoped for so much more in life, but the fact is::: lots of people have lots of thinking problems it seems like, so society needs to heal, I guess.

Which is probably why I think internet controls have made themselves evident.

Yesterday's news

So, yesterday I was busy, running around the city with my parents in their van, doing a bunch of stuff ---

but it was while I was sitting in the van with my father waiting for my Mom who was in a shop, my Apple Watch started beeping wildly.

I look to see what the matter is::: Avril Lavigne mentioned me in a tweet.

Yay. That's nice of her. So: now it's engrained in the semi-permanent stone of Twitter: AVRIL KNOWS OF ME. Don't claim she and I can have nothing to do with each other: ok?

So, that's nice a tweet from Avril.

Of course, with Avril's 19.8 million followers and all the thousands of people who favorited or retweeted the message --- maybe I would've hoped someone might take interest in the website attached to my twitter handle (this website) --- but, the stats say nothing.

SO: that's how hard it is to get a message out. I spent thousands on advertising, got some people to look at my stuff -- but even getting tweeted by a rock star to ~19.8million people isn't enough to pique interest it seems, as far as I have been told. Unless something isn't being told me.

Yeah, it's pretty hard to get totally noticed I guess.

It's kind of like being on Netflix, seeing zillions of titles, choosing one, watching partway through and then getting disinterested ---- there's just so much content out there, you'd be lucky to grab 0.1% of the population's attention.

Which means Avril Lavigne herself has done really quite decently. But anyway, out of billions of people worldwide, bah, I won't bother to try any calculations there.

So:: Avril tweeted me, that's very nice of her, and as far as blogger has told me::: No one really truly cared, even with all the 2000+ retweets. Oh well.

Monday, March 21, 2016

Examining the Forge Ranks

So, I was a little confused by the mismatched information I saw coming from Forge ranking sources on the different games, so here's a bit of continued examination:


My own games appear to be in competition for last place on Forge, which is explainable with how nobody is downloading or buy anything for the past few weeks --- maybe there's an unannounced boycott against me, who knows - I totally understand if people don't like me (but that's a different story.

Well, looking at my games competing for last place, I looked at the Arcade section and saw the last place game: "Sheep in Hell".

The game did look interesing enough, cost only 99 cents, and was ranked last, so I figured I'd buy it and try it out. I even played with it for a while.

Anyway, the Arcade rankings have updated again --- Sheep in Hell went from last place (70th), to ~31st place with my purchase.

Actually, if I bought the game, and the game jumped up to 31st place --- then that means there are A LOT or a substantial number of people who are playing Forge and therefore the business is more successful than I previously thought.

2 things:

1) I'm sorry if I disappointed everybody with my life, and I understand vaguely why I might get boycotted, so I yeah, I have to live with that --- it was sure nice to have periods in my life when I was highly ranked however ....

2) And since I was highly ranked at certain points, at those points I understood the system to do poorly because I ranked highly without sales --- but what if my sales just weren't reported to me? I really have to wonder what is going on there.


But, whatever the case, considering the life I've lived, I think I can totally expect to be hated and penalized by whoever for whatever reason.


And on that note ----

I'll just say that growing up I was trying to be a good boy, doing what I understood to be right. I really tried. I guess it all went wrong though. And because of how things went, I understand if the world hates me - that does make sense, but the part that doesn't totally make sense is how the world pretty much hated me since I was born it seemed like, so in that sense, nothing has really changed.

And no, I'm serious, for a certain reason that my parents told me --- I do believe I have been hated pretty much since I was born, so really, all my life is me trying to do good and do my best and everything just going wrong.

Anyway.


But to tell the truth, Forge/OUYA is a lot of fun for me, and I am curious about how I ranked highly without payment while this other game ranked mid-way with at least 1 payment. ?? who knows.


Lastly, considering that I ranked highly at all, maybe I'm not as hated as I thought I was. Maybe everyone is done with my games right now. Maybe life isn't really as bad as I might've made it out to be. That much can be hoped for.

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Reconciling the ORank, the ZRank, and Trending Now

So, the ORank is Frozen.

Trending Now shows some stuff.

But the ZRank on the website doesn't exactly match up with Trending Now on the Forge.

In fact, not only does the ranking differ on the two ranking sources, but the ratings do as well.

With a few of my games, the number of ratings is the same on each source, but the rating went down a bit.

Why is that?

Did someone change their mind about how much they like my game?

But then --- why doesn't the rating change consistently on each media? It's different from two different sources from the same company.

Something very strange going on here.

And the reports in the dev portal are pretty much frozen too.



Maybe no one is playing my games, maybe I'm not very popular --- but it's strange on the Trending Now where The Bananatree Brothers is my top ranked game, yet as far as I know I've sold only a few copies of that title.



Well, the right hand doesn't know what the left hand says apparently, so I'm just seeing things that look like "mismatches" that make me wonder.

And there are any number of reasons why this exists.


Well, I still feel good inside, and I know with my inexperienced and uneducated development perspective that I probably couldn't expect too much success. It was all a fun experience.



And I suppose it's possible or likely that people might have hurt feelings about me, but I try to be nice and to be a good person.



You know what? There are high quality games ranked lowly, and lower quality games ranked highly, so maybe it all means nothing. Who knows.



I just want to get paid so I can finally move out of my parents'  basement, you know? :)

O-Rank not updating & more

So, for the month of March, pretty much, in my browser windows the OUYA O-Rank hasn't really been updating - at all. It's basically just sitting static with my games always listed at the same rank from day to day, week to week.

On top of that, I haven't had a listed download of any game since the end of February --- the month of March has been completely devoid of activity in my developer portal.

What is the cause of this?

I could speculate:

maybe my internet has been hijacked and I don't get to see the actual truth, maybe what's actually happening is being hidden from me.

Or maybe Razer is working on something and the old OUYA information isn't being updated, even though the OUYA dev portal is supposed to also be the Cortex dev portal, as I understand.

Maybe no one to very few people are playing anymore.

Or maybe people are boycotting my games for (probably obvious) reasons. Of course, this option doesn't make that much sense since I have two games ranked at the 300 level in the O Rank, and if I was boycotted, this wouldn't be happening.


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Whatever the case, looking at reports and rankings is getting boring - there's no action.


So I really wonder what's going on.


Yeah, I mean, my games would reach as high as 80-something or 60-something on the O-Rank with very few sales, so maybe that is just an indicator that people have stopped playing, which is very sad because OUYA was such a good fun idea. I played when I could personally, but because I lack close personal friendships, I often had no one to play with.


So, who knows. Having a high rank on the O-Rank didn't translate into actual sales, unfortunately, so maybe the whole thing is just dying. So sad. What a waste of money for Razer.


But that is the problem you know ---- just having all these thousands of people who wouldn't be bothered to actually pay someone honestly for their work. It's really sad actually.

Friday, March 18, 2016

What was I paying for?

I'm just going to put down a quick think-up I had before I have to go:

The LDS/Mormon church requires each of their members to pay 10% of their income in order to be in good standing in the church. I mean -- they make it very clear, as a Mormon you are REQUIRED to give a whole load of your wealth to the church.

Now --- with that kind of payment going into the church, you'd expect the church to do a good job directing and helping you through life.

What I found was that I was giving 10% of my income to the church so they could take away a girlfriend who was helping me, and so they could torment me over being a normal male.

Basically, I don't understand why I would give so much of my money to the church when they've basically lied and told me my friends aren't allowed, and when they torment me over how God made me with my natural hormonal situation, which is normal in most men.



Anyway, that was a lot of money to spend to a corporation just to get a bunch of crap in return I think.




When my old stake president wanted me to become an elder, he told me I didn't have to pay tithing anymore. Considering how past leaders had treated me --- this did make sense.


But I didn't see the point of hanging around a church that makes it very clear in every aspect of life that the 10% is required, only for my own leader to privately tell me it's not required for me anymore.


What the leader said made sense, but it's just hard on my mind to follow that new rule when everyone else has different requirements.


Anyway, I'm not going back to church --- I've learned enough to know that I don't need it.



But it's just incredibly sad for the LDS Church Business to make people pay 10%+ of their income, only to screw up the patron's life.  Messed up eh?

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Mental Health Development

Maybe I'm supposed to keep to myself, not let too much out in the media:: but the thing is, when I write my record of things that happen in my life, I like to tell someone else about it as I'm writing. That means email, blogging, and facebook.

When I write my life's record, I actually have a tendency to prefer to talk publicly, I think, although I do respect something that should remain private.


Anyway, when I went to see my psychiatrist today, something weird happened when I was in the psychiatric lobby, waiting to see the doctor.

So, when I saw the doctor, I told the doctor this, and other things, and....

Boom. The doctor said I was on a very high dosage of the med I'm taking, and figured it should maybe be lowered.

OK --- So the doctor basically said something about my dosage being too high, and might've maybe said something about changing my medication.

1) This does kind of make sense to me, EXCEPT:::

2) because of a personal family issue, I'm not totally certain this will be a good idea. Years ago I would have loved this idea, but now I'm kind of afraid of what would happen if I lowered my med.


The doctor did note that this is the best med I've ever had, despite how I'm fatter on this med than at any other point in my life ---- but even so, I have had a good mental state on this med.


Anyway, today's occurrence in the psychiatric office prompted my doctor that I needed to change my med, which she indicated would probably at least be a lower dosage of what I take now.

I'm not totally certain if "change my med" means just a lower dosage or a new med altogether, but we'll see.

But, it's true::: she said this is the best med I've ever been on for me, and now she says the dosage is too high.

Huh.



I like this news, although no one else in my family knows right now, but because of family reasons, I'm afraid of what might happen if my med does get changed. We'll see where this goes.

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Sunday Message: On Which Court is Justified

So: My mom was heading out to church (LDS/Mormon) today, and my mind was bursting on ideas of how the word "Forgiveness" is understood by different people. You see, I do want to know what my Mom understands about these things.

Anyway, my mom didn't say much, but the topic developed into this:

WHICH COURT IS LITIGATION BETWEEN CHURCH MEMBERS JUSTIFIED IN?

You see, in D&C 64, Joseph Smith Jr says everything should be forgiven, and you even forgive the people who do things that are illegal by taking them before civil or criminal courts (the laws of the land) and throwing the illegal individual in prison, but forgiving them at the same time.


Spencer W Kimball in his book The Miracle of Forgiveness, however, teaches that inter-church litigation issues are always to be brought before a church court, and never before the courts of the unbelievers, that is is better to take a wrong and let yourself be defrauded than to demand justice through non-church members.


Basically, Joseph Smith said the laws of the land or the laws of the King/Queen/Magistrate/whoever-is-in-charge should be respected even if they don't belong to the church and that all legal issues should be dealt with through the courts,

while Spencer W Kimball, a successor to Joseph Smith down the line, said all inter-church litigation issues are to NEVER be taken before non-believers and that it is all to be dealt with in church-court-channels.



Basically, one prophet taught civil/criminal courts should be used, and the other prophet taught that church courts should be used.

And in my experience, the church just likes to cherry pick from incident to incident and they just choose which of their then-favourite leaders they're going to follow at any one time.

Basically, sometimes the church will follow Joseph Smith, sometimes they'll follow Spencer W Kimball, but it all really depends on if they want you to be justly dealt with or if they want you to be defrauded.

That's what I understand about it.


So yeah, two prophets of the church taught completely contradictory doctrines about the exact same thing, and the church involved with the incident will just cherry pick and choose which leader they like more at each incident.


And that's what my Sunday Morning discussion was based around as my Mom went to church this morning.

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Brain Thinking too Hard to go back to sleep

I woke up, some minutes to 4am this morning, and I was thinking about the events of the past several days.

I blame Avril for things too much, she may be my personal Jesus Christ, but I think I've blamed her for some things too much.

The best explanation for some of the email I received in the past week is THE BANK.

It was THE BANK that had every idea that I had achieved a 103% performance rating on my trading account, so they're probably the guys who decided to have some fun with me and make an application in my behalf for this MIllionaire Challenge program.

I have to say, the more and more I look at this MC program, the less and less interested I get.

I've had my reasons for investing in the past years and months, and though making a million would probably be cool, my goals weren't actually that lofty, unless you consider a goal I made when I was like 13 that I'd make a million.

It's kind of freaky how I get some email. I mean, it's probably no coincidence that I got a high rating on my account, and then someone signs me up for the MC program.

There is another email I received, and it's just so strange, though I'm not sure I'm going to discuss this one.

Anyway, I am just highly, highly suspicious that my bank has been having some "fun" with me now that I have this higher performance rating.

They seem bent on pushing me into an overdrive-money-making-mode, they see potential and they're trying to unleash it in me.

I suppose it is funny, it's exciting, but my "hobbitted" nature is a bit scared of a potential adventure.


Whatever, maybe I'm just not thinking straight because it's 4:30am in the morning right now as I write this post.

I just feel a little afraid.  It's just kind of freaky to get this email like that. as I achieve this success. Very really kind of freaky.

Friday, March 4, 2016

The Status of my Email

So it's been a while since my last post, but here's some news::

After reporting D Trump sending me an email, I received several emails from Trump, all about the same thing, and received only a couple or a few more of these Famous emails before the famous emails started dropping off, pretty much slowing down extremely or not coming anymore.

But, here are some interesting news: When I have an email address available online, there is someone or some people out there who will take my email and add it to various mailing lists. This hasn't been too much of a problem for me so far...

But today I woke up and found my email is now on a "Millionaire Challenge" mailing list, I've also been added to a Creative mailing list ---- I mean, I see that this could be a lot of work, and I can't even drive a car.


I guess the one thing I have going for me is that at my online brokerage, there is a page that tells you your percentile performance rating compared to everyone else who uses the same brokerage. Amazingly enough, for the month of February 2016, I appear to have achieved top honours, top of the list, top position, when it comes to trading profitability for that month.

Maybe I don't entirely understand their performance rating, but fact is, I am pretty sure I am ranked very highly right now, or last month.

And though I may have had a good percentage increase in trading, that only translated into about $200 of actual cash ---- but I did exponentially better than any savings account, I guess.

Well, just the way people have sent me email is interesting, and considering which emails are being sent to, I am wondering if it's someone like Avril Lavigne behind these messages. :)

Of course, though I trade myself $200 up in a month, and that gave me top position at my brokerage, I look at my book and game sales and wonder how I could be successful if people don't buy my stuff.


UPDATE:::

I looked at my brokerage performance rating section: I thought it was a percentile, but I looked at the fine print and it's just some kind of measurement of performance.

So while regular indexes perform in the downwards direction in the past few months, my performance went up to 103.x%, and yeah, 103% is strange for a percentile rating, so maybe it's just a calculation, of like, how much I earned on a normalized yearly basis.

So if I made 9% in one month, that normalized over the year would be 108%, which is pretty close to how well I did actually perform recently. So maybe that's all it is.

Yes - in just a few short months, I had an increase of about 6-9%. Yay me.