I was having a little chat with my brother this evening.
I don't remember all of the discussion, but it centred around this:
Why am I not allowed to legally defend my freedom and liberty against an abusive and controlling church that took away my friends and made me want to kill myself?
I mean::: with my experience with the LDS Mormon church, I KNOW that they are the nastiest sons of bitches I've ever had to encounter ever in my life -- I'm serious --- even classmates who hypnotized me to kill people weren't as bad as the LDS church.
So, well, when a church is taking away my friends, forcing me on medications for even believing in miracles, making me want to kill myself and telling me they don't care if I kill myself, constantly engaging in a psychology of condemnation and torment over very little "problems" that can hardly be considered problems ---
when a church is behaving that way ---- why on earth do I have no right to try and defend myself from them? I never even physically hurt anyone with my own two hands at that church, and yet, I am completely wrong to rebel against what they were doing.
Anyway --- though I could make a legal argument that what I did was actually technically legal, because of free expression of a free conscience and my right to liberty which needed to be defended,
though I could make that legal argument::: My brother essentially just argued I shouldn't do it because it's illegal.
Final case about this: just because it's illegal, does that mean you really shouldn't do it?
The french resistance in the 1940's was illegal. Were they wrong to do that?
It's illegal to download copy-right infringed copies of my book -- illegal rip offs alone are illegal, yet people still do it - right?
On those grounds I still believe my brother has lost the argument. ;p
I suppose this argument has gone on for years and it's like beating a dead horse for me to bring it up again, but in the context of me being at home with my brother I just want to make some points clear:
It has been said that you can leave the Mormon church, but you can't leave the church alone. I, like many other people who choose to cease involvement in mormonism, have psychological issues they have needs to talk about.
Also, maybe the psychiatric doctors were doing the best they could with what information and capability they had - maybe - and maybe they are even trying to help me by taking away my pain through medication ----- maybe the psychiatry wasn't supposed to be so much a punishment as a way to just plain help me ----- but there is one problem here::::: Psychiatric drugs cause weight gain, even severe weight gain, and this is a health risk.
You see, I think I could have been happy just to have the LDS church exit my life entirely, and have all the insanities of it just explained to me (Youtube has now done a good job of that for me), and I could have lived a happier life just having the mormons removed, without the need of the fattening medications. Basically, my mom is always making comments about how I'm not allowed to get fatter and fear of diabetes and heart disease and stuff ----- she has to drug me, which makes me fat, and then "berate" me about the consequences of being fat. Wow. She made me get fat, and now she's warning me of the health risks. Bloody brilliant.
Anyway, and finally, just explaining and discussing the situation of Mormonism and their inability to forgive retribution for their bullcrap is just me trying to explain that we really should not being giving money to that church, and in fact, maybe we could even ignore them.
Maybe i can't ignore the LDS church right now because the women in my family still involve themselves with it. Half my family is involved, so technically it's still in my face, that whole religion. Kind of like when my mom will STILL ask me about giving me intentions to actually follow the sabbath day like ancient Jews - because that's still important to her, apparently.
So, I can't give up discussing mormonism and all that shebang when half my family is still involved and therefore it's still in my face.
I don't give up on justifying my actions, because it feels like punishment for me to take medications which are known to cause serious weight gain.