It's 5:52PM right now. The sun is still up. It's not close to black or pitch dark here.
Well, I was praying to God - I went between talking about all kinds of challenges I faced in my life that drove me to insanity, and how now that I'm insane everything I've tried to make an extra buck doesn't work.
I talked to him about how in some ways my life is very good and comfortable, but then said I only have these extremely good things in my life because of how extremely crap my life typically had been for so long.
Anyway ---- I cried to God about being disabled - how I was the top of the class in school, so you'd think I'd be doing something with my life, except I became disabled instead. And being disabled is very boring, and I try to figure out ways of making money, but it really doesn't work out very well.
Anyway, I was driven to tears in my prayers to God ---- facing so many "no win possible" situations in my life, going crazy from it, and now just Stagnating on disability, nearly incapable of making extra money - and in fact diminishing my wealth through gambling.
So, I was sad.
But, instead of constantly annoying and bugging God about these problems, I decided to lay down on my bed, and listen to my iPad play Country Music Radio from Apple Music.
I find that when I listen to music like that my brain is able to rest, and I can't be in deep thought or prayer. I just rested my brain and listened to the music.
But then I noticed something interesting and strange:::
The other side of my bedroom was having some very strange lighting effects going on - like, it would get very bright, then very dark, then very bright and very dark again, doing this repeatedly in other part of my room. I was watching it --- just bright and dark, creating a light show in my bedroom. As I was listening to Rockin' Country music.
Anyway, I loudly wondered if I was looking at an angel, or if it was just the tree outside my window blowing in the wind and the subsequent light and shadow from the sun.
But then I noticed that there seemed to be a central location in my room the light was coming from - as if the sun's unshadowed rays were somehow just stronger at that location.
Anyway, I then I realized "Hey! I could pick up my iPad and make a video recording of this light show!"
Guess what? After I had those thoughts, the light show stopped. I'm not kidding you. I've been sitting here for the past few minutes booting my computer and writing this, and there's been no light show.
It's as if the Angel that hangs out with me was having a party (like, dancing) with my listening to the rockin' country music I was playing.
I remember seeing a light show like that before --- in the doorway of my bedroom --- but that was a day when I saw someone who looked like Jesus was hanging around near my house.
I don't know if that long ago experience really was Jesus, but I did see a resemblance, and then the subsequent light show in my room shortly afteward.
Well, today I was praying a prayer about how upsetting my life has been, then I listened to Music, and I got another light show.
So, maybe it was just the tree blowing in the wind and the light and shadow from the sun, but I couldn't help but wonder if an Angel was dancing or something and producing a lighting effect from the music or something.
Crazy isn't it? Well - I'm disabled - live with it. :) Hah.
As for the music I listen to - I listen to a lot of Jazz, Smooth Jazz, some Alternative and some Country now. And a bunch of Classical.
But I've only had Apple Music for a few months now, and still haven't tried listening to everything. So, I mostly listen to Jazz, I guess i should admit.