I am so glad and thankful I have a good psychiatrist, and today I'm glad I was able to talk to my brother (because my dad doesn't care to hear about it).
Basically, I have flashbacks. I flashback to various points in my life, and well, because my life has been so tormented when I was young, these flashbacks bring up feelings of torment.
So, basically, sometimes I just have strong recurring memories of horrible experiences in my life, and it brings back a flood of memories of all the crap I've ever been through ---- and it is like a torment. Just realizing that all through my life I've essentially been tormented in one way or another.
Anyway, it's just really great to have a good psychiatrist to talk to, because, basically, it's someone I can even just talk to. I was able to talk to my brother about it today, but the big problem that has often been a problem in my life ever since the beginning of my psychosis is that my dad will or would never discuss or let me talk about things with him, there was little intelligent value in trying to talk to my dad --- but if I talked to someone else, he would invariably get involved in the discussion if he heard it going on and shut down the discussion as soon as he can.
Anyway, having a dad who doesn't care to listen to me, it's just nice to have a doctor who does listen (when my dad isn't yapping to her even though she's my doctor), and today my brother was nice enough to just listen to the flood of memories that was tormenting my mind for a while today.
Anyway ----- Rather than talk about all the problems my psychology has on my blog, I'm just gonna say on my blog that it's real nice to have someone to talk to.
Life can be so tormented and the memories can be so clear in one's mind that it's just good to have someone who will listen. Yeah.
So, I'm thankful and grateful. :)