Monday, May 25, 2015

How much should I give to her charity?

So, I'm hopefully going to be completely debt free very soon, and I told Avril's foundation about that in my last donation and said they could expect more from me at some point in time --------

But I am really confused about how to continue with this friendly relationship.

At some point last year I started giving The Avril Lavigne Foundation a small monthly gift --- and now that I'm getting out of debt, i wonder if I should give her some more.

Part of me wonders if she's sick of hearing from me and if I should just leave her alone,

While another part of me realizes that she probably doesn't get too many donations (if what I understand about debt situations and markets are correct) and I would want to brighten up her day every month with a gift.

I'm just really confused with myself about exactly how much I should give her or how I should be dealing with her now.

I really appreciate Avril Lavigne in my life and I would want her charity to succeed, so I would want to give her something.

But my family-tax at home is also increasing and I won't be able to give as much as I wanted to originally.

Of course, considering what I can give to Avril, and how much it would be worth to her compared to how much she has, versus how much it would be worth to me with my smaller bank account....

Hmmmmm.


Basically, I'm just trying to be Avril's friend, to make her feel loved, but I'm not sure there's a right way, I'm not sure there's a right choice I can make.


I wonder if I would offend her to give her nothing.

But I wonder if I would offend her to continuing to get in her face with donations.

Basically, the amount that I would want to give her in order to be really friendly with her isn't going to happen anymore due to family taxes at home --------

So - yeah --- I'm not sure I have a good choice when dealing with her now.


I considered myself telepathic with her, but now I'm stumped because

a) I should leave her alone more, I have little real business in her life ---- but this might offend her also,
b) while if I keep giving her friendship, she might get offended that I'm not leaving her alone.



I've tried asking GOD for help on this issue ---- at first God was telling me I should give her more money, but on Facebook my friend thought she had enough of her own money.



Ack.


I'm in a tough spot here.


She's one of my most favourite people in the world, and I don't want to make relations with her worse, but I don't know exactly what I can do about that. If I can't give her the bigger amount I originally thought I would, then I don't really have a good choice to make.




Do my donations brighten her day --- or is she frustrated seeing me regularly appear? I'm actually not sure --------


She sings her songs like she's in love with me, if she didn't sing those songs then I'd ignore her, but she does sing those songs, and I'm the closest match to the guy she says she loves that I know of so that attracted me to her,,,,,

but I also wonder if I shouldn't hang around trying to buddy with her so much --- even as she's married.



After all this wondering in this document about what I could do ------ I've come to a conclusion that I feel emotionally comfortable with ------ the one that feels right at this moment.


Unfortunately, that's not saying anything useful because in the past week I've had different levels of support for her that I also at those times thought I was comfortable with.

But ------ if I can't really impress her with a large amount of money every month (because of my new family-tax) ------

Then what I'm thinking is maybe I should keep my levels of friendship and support at the same old level as before.

Going half-way-higher at this point doesn't make sense because it would be a bit expensive for me, but would yet be unimpressive to her at the same time.

The best option I think I have is to be of little expense to myself and just showing her some friendship, while maintaining a position of unimpressiveness at an even lower level --- but nothing will have changed though, so it seems like the better choice.

I wish I could have said that better.

Dunno. If I keep my donations at low levels ---- maybe once in a while I can give her something more sizeable. maybe.

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