Monday, March 30, 2015

My Position on Marriage

So - for any number of reasons for the past years of my life I've had myself under the impression that I will not marry.

I thought my debt seemed insurmountable - especially as I wasn't making much money from my book and video game projects -

But I found investing money was a good way to save, and well, I'm getting closer and closer to having my debt wiped out. Then I will be in the black and hope to stay there.

What does this mean about me and girls? Now that winter is over, it's clear there have been many very pretty women wandering around.

This is what I think:::

With the limited experiences I have with women, I am not aware of any woman who I would want to marry, regardless of how pretty is.

Just like the church where I feel like I was bitten, and now I'm twice shy, women are the same way. I had some really bad experiences with women throughout my life, and I'm not sure I want to open any of these doors into a relationship. I really don't know what I'm getting into.

I don't know their thoughts, their intellects, their beliefs, none of this. I know the simple fact that "ooh - she's real pretty" is not a reason to try to get involved.

Some people, in my experience, are just such disasters that I know I have to be careful.

Growing up in LDS Mormonism, you were supposed to date and figure out which girl(s) you liked from dating.

I wasn't much of a dater, especially as I was just plain out-of-luck-too-poor.

Yeah, I grew up poor, but I hear the people of western nations are in so much debt --- which means I'm doing pretty well to be getting out of debt --- which might make me attractive to women, and yes, I think girls are pretty, but I am twice shy about females.

I could use another excuse for why I won't get married, but it's not a public issue to talk about because of who it involves. I'll just say it's an excuse, but maybe not a very good one, but kind of a good excuse when I feel like being annoyed at someone for their mistake. Anyway.

So yeah --- I like pretty girls, and I'm getting out of debt, but deep down inside I'm twice shy because of previous bad experience.

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