So, I'm getting back into a better mood about Mormonism again ---- it's just so sad how much I flip-flop on the topic.
Part of my happiness with Mormonism now is that even if Joseph Smith was lying, he had good intentions and was trying to accomplish something good. I understand that.
But then there's this other part of me which wonders if he may have even been telling the truth or some truth, because I think that there is some real evidence of miraculous reality in Mormonism.
OK --- I've heard of some people who leave the church who never experienced anything miraculous, apparently, in that organization.
To me, the organization is very much miraculous or got something magical about it, and it just has huge failings and deep flaws in other ways.
I'm impressed with the miracles, but some of the problems sometimes cause me to flop into a rejection of the church.
But now I'm in a good mood.
Anyway, I'm just writing this blog post to explain where I stand on tithing.
When my family still had home teachers, when we still visited the church leaders in their offices, though I was being invited to attend regularly, invited to become an elder --- I was basically being invited to be a good church boy again ----- with one thing missing - tithing.
Believe it or not, the LDS church must've realized it screwed up somewhere in my life, and as such they actually DO NOT REQUIRE ME TO PAY ANY TITHING.
For a while I paid tithing anyway....
But in the end, I actually started feeling pained, or spiritual pain ---- I felt BAD about paying tithing.
So I don't pay tithing anymore. But I'm not greedy either ---- I donate a bunch of my monthly paycheque to other charities. And I feel good about that.
So, basically, I'm in a happy mood about Mormonism right now ----- and I think it's especially nice of them that they would FINALLY forgive my sexual habit, and that they would even accept me without requiring me to pay tithing.
That is correct. According to Mormonism, I either can or may have been able to go to heaven without paying tithing anymore ----- it's not something they require from me at all.
Which is absolutely strange and amazing. I could've been a good-boy member again, without being required to pay 10% of my income. Wow.
That is actually the honest truth.
So why did I leave and never go back??? I had way too many memories and misunderstandings about a bunch of the crap I experienced in the church. My brain went hay-wire about all kinds of things that happened. I didn't want to be around it anymore.
Of course, there was also a part of me that was essentially programmed to think that if I was going to participate in the Mormon church, that I had to be chaste and that I had to pay tithing ----- and I'm not sure I was able to feel comfortable being in a "special" position where I could be in good standing whilst not having the same requirements placed upon me.
Basically, I'm in a good mood about the LDS church again, and I am so sad that I was so angry at the stake president. It wasn't anything personal at him of course, he was a very nice man and he was trying to help me ----- I basically just have psychological issues.
Yup ------ Even if the psychiatric doctors or nurses were finally able to determine that I'm not actually schizophrenic, I do have some kind of mental issue anyway, and basically I go all hay-wire over the church about some of the issues that happened.
But I'm in a good mood today.
And I just felt it was important to mention that though the church stopped requiring my tithing, I still give plenty to other charities anyway.
And I'm always pretty darned certain that I really did experience the miraculous in the LDS church.