So, today I checked my amazon sales, and saw that someone bought Letters To Whomever, but then also refunded it.
Probably one of those mormons who can't accept anything that might not seem wonderful, or anything critical.
That inspired me to read the first bunch of pages of my own book, Letters to Whomever.
One thing really stood out to me in those pages::::
My old young men's leader criticized, condemned, treated me like I was damned just because of my small sins.
Yet the Stake President demanded forgiveness for past church leaders who admittedly had wronged me.
It's interesting that I received such condemnation from a young men's leaders for acts that are barely considered sinful, but the outrageously wrong acts of past church leaders demand forgiveness.
So::: what have I ever done to condemn or not forgive my past church leaders? I'm not angry anymore, I have a bit of a memory of what they did, but I never harmed these two men in any way unless my talking about what they did was harmful.
Anyway, it's just interesting that my young men's leader is so full of condemnation (and he was also full of condemnation as I was growing up), but when church leaders do wrong they forget all the condemnation they threw at me and demand forgiveness.
I just don't understand it. Maybe if they weren't so condemning of me, I'd have learned to be more forgiving by their good example, and then not condemned anyone myself.
Anyway, another thing I was thinking about was this:::: a sinner can pray to God about their sins and still be exalted, according to the bible.
And then in D&C 132:26-27 we read that you can commit pretty much any sin and still receive your exaltation. The only sin you aren't allowed to commit is murder.
Basically, the bible says sinners can be exalted, and Joseph Smith agreed that sinners can and will be exalted.
But the church condemned me for such small acts that can hardly be considered sinful, and well, with they way they wouldn't let me get married or actually accept the "exaltation" God gave me by telling me to be with Avril Lavigne...
Basically, God exalted me by telling me I'm friends with Avril Lavigne, but the church didn't want me to do that ---- and in the church there's only one way someone can lose their exaltation:: by committing murder.
Can it therefore be understood that the LDS church wanted me to commit murder?
I can only speculate.
They didn't want me to have my blessing or exaltation, and the only way they could actually achieve that is if I actually murdered someone.
Stupid church. They're no better than my grade 8 and 9 classmates who decided they'd hypnotize me to do awful things.
I just don't understand it.
They'll condemn me over such small things, even though their own scriptures say that any type of sin except murder will receive exaltation, and then they want to take away my exaltation too which means they'll have to get me to commit murder, which is the only way Joseph Smith says I can lose my exaltation.
So, am I a murderer? Or was God just being vengeful on my behalf? I never did anything to anyone that would kill anybody, besides praying to God about my problems.
Anyway, if the Holy Ghost was actually putting me and Avril together, then according to Joseph Smith, we will always be together and we will be exalted until one of us actually commits actual murder.
And the church wanted me to fail it seems, so it seems very much like the LDS church was actually encouraging me to commit a most vile sin or crime.
Well, I guess that's what you get when your bishop is the type of guy who'll falsely accuse you of making a deal with the devil.