Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Someone Died Today or Recently

Well, today I found out from my father that someone we knew at church has passed away. The man was very old, and it's believed he died from Old Age.

The death must have been just today or recently, because I haven't found any obituaries in the most recent days. I can't find anything about this man dying in newspapers in Alberta that I've looked up, so it must be a brand new death, probably today.

Why am I saying this?

A couple days ago I posted on this blog about how my sex life just doesn't work in Mormonism ---- I have over-active hormones, and I get criticized for pleasing myself, and I get criticized whenever I try to actually date or marry anyone too.

Basically, in that forum post, it appeared there was no way to win when it came to my sex life and mormonism. I can't date a girl, even if she initially did want me, without being criticized, and I can't just satiate my own needs or desires without being criticized either --- there's no way I can win in the history of my life in that organization.

Anyway, before I wrote about it on my blog, I also told GOD about the conundrum. I just can't win. No sex would be a winning option, but it's not an option if you know how it feels to be me. Any other option is completely off-limits in my experience, so I just get criticized, I can't win.

So, yeah, I told GOD about this little fact of my life, and in the time following me telling GOD about this stuff, and even after I wrote on my blog, I started having a mind filled with ideas or thoughts about "Will there be any disintegrations?"

Basically, the word "Disintegrations" or "Disintegration" appeared in my mind multiple time in relation to the problem I was thinking about, and I realized it meant "death" because of the use of the word in a science fiction setting.

Anyway, I don't think or know of anything this man might have had to do with the way the church treated me about any facet of my sex life, I don't know of any involvement by him:::::

But it is such a coincidence that he would die so shortly after me having thoughts about these problems and thoughts entering my mind about possible "Disintegrations".

Anyway, this is relevant to my blog because of how it fits with the story of The Book of Finch, which is really just history repeating itself at this point.

There might be absolutely no relationship at all ---- but in my mind it looks like there could have been a connection or at least it's one of the biggest coincidences ever.

To be honest::: I wasn't thinking about anyone dying for a long time, and no one died. I recently have some thoughts, and someone dies. Hmm. wow.

Sorry everyone, I tried to be a good boy growing up, but my life in the LDS church just didn't seem to work out, and any death that may have any relationship to myself can only be interpreted as or seen as the hand of God giving retribution or retaliation or whatever on my behalf.

Sorry guys.


ADDITIONAL:::: January 29th 2015:::::

The obituary has appeared finally. He died on the morning of January 27th, which is just hours after me praying to God and making my blog post.

He was a pretty good friend of my father's, and he really may have died from old age with how old he was.

This morning I woke up to the sound of our doorbell ringing. I sprang out of bed to check the door, but no one was there. Hmmmm.

Anyway, it was a great big coincidence that I would have re-emerging concerns about my inability to win in any circumstance, that thoughts of "disintegration" would appear in my head, and the next morning someone we knew was dead. Just so strange, big coincidence. Anywho.

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