On a side note, I'll just say that I figured out that the payment I received from Amazon in early December 2014 was actually for sales in June-July of 2012, not 2014. No idea what's going on there. No idea at all. Took them long enough. Or something. Some kind of error I guess.
Anyway, I just want to report why I'll never marry, and therefore I rarely have anyone to enjoy video games with (because of my loneliness).
I make more money doing nothing with my life than I do from selling books or video games.
Companies like Coca-Cola can earn a few bucks just from a single sale of a beverage, which happens all the time throughout the world.
My mom can make a dollar every few minutes working at her job.
But me, I work for over 6 months on a project, release it, get many free downloads, but very few people are willing to pay me $0.99 for my hard work.
Or the book projects where I spent at least a year working per project, but no one can pay a buck, and would rather take it for free.
Anyway, I make more money doing absolutely nothing, absolutely no effort or work earns me more money than the actual work or effort I do put forward.
Unfortunately, the great deal more money I earn from doing nothing still isn't enough to have a family with.
In order for me to have a family, I would have my income, and my wife would need to have an income as well ---- so either I stay at home with the kids and she works, or we both stay at home with the kids because she doesn't need to work either because she's also disabled.
So either I can marry a working mother, so we can afford to have a family, or I need to marry another disabled person.
Here's where the problems come in::::: We all know it's better to have mom stay at home and care for the kids rather than her being out working all the time. And I can't work very well it seems so I can't go out at a job, and well, who would rather have a stay at home dad rather than a stay at home mom?
I can only imagine it would be a problem if mom is working all the time::::
therefore mommy needs to be on welfare too, and she also has to be disabled.
But that just doesn't work either.
Marrying a person with physical disabilities might just not work, I mean, I'm not sure I'd want to marry a girl without an arm or a leg or whatever,
but even if the body is fully functional, I can't marry a woman with mental disability either.
It would be bad to have two mentally disabled people get married and produce children. Maybe if you ask me in person I could explain how that works.
Anyway, I can't marry anyone it seems. For those reasons. I can't marry a working mom, I can't marry a physically disabled mom, and I definitely can't marry a mentally disabled mom, so really, I can't get married.
And then there's an altogether different reason why I can't get married, but I don't discuss it publicly because of how it sullies the names of certain individuals.
So yeah, my LDS patriarchal blessing said I'd be sealed to a companion of my choice, yet from my viewpoint perspective on how much I can marry, it seems I never will-----
and I really am suspecting that it's because there's something wrong with the church's blessing or the church itself, but we all know the church would never take the blame or lose face over this so they would blame me for a lack of faith or worthiness ------
but it's probably really because there's something completely wrong with the LDS church. There, anyway.
The way I CAN see myself getting married and having a family is if I made enough money from my books and video games, and then was able to afford a family where the mom could stay at home, because I've earned all the income.
If I earned enough on my books and video games, I could have a family. That shouldn't be too difficult, considering that a million people from anywhere in the world could pick up my book or video game and each pay me a dollar for just one of my projects each --- that would earn me enough ----
but from a practical standpoint, it just aint happening. Most people would rather grab my stuff for free and can't pay a dollar.
Coca-cola will get it's dollar for every beverage sold, my mom will get a dollar every few minutes at her job, but I work for months and years on various projects, but people can't pay me a buck for the finished product and can only take the work for free.
And therefore I'll never get married, I'm very lonely, and rarely have anyone to play video games with.