Friday, November 7, 2014

Saw an Old Friend

So a couple days ago I met up again with someone I once knew from school. This is the first time in a long time that I really had a close personal contact with someone I knew.

Living a very lonely life, I'm afraid that I might've seemed a bit self-centred in the discussion. Talking about what I knew and thought, and of course freaking him out with how crazy I am. OK - he didn't seem freaked out - but my life is so crazy you'd think he should be freaked out.

I told him why I don't go to school. My brain has a way of turning "off". It's kind of like I'm haunted by some supernatural force in my head or something ---- I told him how I've been reading the bible and I'm able to read that book just fine, without any thinking difficulty.

But when I try to read a novel --- as has happened quite a bit in the past little while --- my brain turns off and I am unable to concentrate on the literary work I was trying to enjoy.

Like, for days before he met me I was having this thing where I could read the bible fine, but my brain turned off when trying to read a novel.

I was at a shopping mall this evening, and as I sat in the mall waiting for my mom to finish shopping in one store, I figured I could try reading an ebook on my phone ---- but nope, brain just turned off.

Anyway --- I am pretty much psychologically or intellectually disabled. I've seen and experienced so much crazy stuff in my life -- and then I find it hard to concentrate on something I want to do, so yes - I am pretty much disabled.

But I also think I've proven God's existence. Though on one hand it's clear I can't function as I once did, it's also clear that there is some kind of greater and even magical force out there.

Anyway, Jesus said that many who are first shall be last and the last shall be first. I am a perfect example of this.

Throughout my schooling leading up to grade 11, I knew I was pretty much top of the class, I did pretty darned good at pretty much anything I did. 98% chem final exam in grade 11 was the last time I could be glorified for my intellectual talent --- and yes -- that was the top mark in the class.

I was first, and then I became last, because in Grade 12 my brain shut down and things I found easy to do in grade 11 became pretty much or near impossible.

Anyway -- the story continues, I met a friend the other night:::

The friend reminded me of our grade 10 science class together. Most memorable moment I was involved in::: I was right near the big explosion in that class. He remembered it, and so did I. One of those real memorable things from High School that it was just nice to know I had met someone else who also who also experienced it with me.

Anyway, this evening on the way to the mall, my brain actually did start working again and I remembered the chemistry equation that caused the explosion. First time in a long time I did any chem.

Sodium reacts with Water to produce Sodium Hydroxide and Hydrogen.

Hydrogen reacts with Oxygen in the air to create Water and a big explosion that left sodium hydroxide spattered all over my arm, as apparently my old friend from school remembered, which part of the story I do not remember personally. I mean -- I supposedly got sodium hydroxide all over my arm and he remembers this but I don't. I just remember sodium hydroxide getting all over the roof above the explosion.

Anyway. yeah. Nice to spend a bit of an evening playing OUYA games with an old classmate.

I almost wonder if people might look up to me too much with how I was the top of the class for so long growing up --- because I am not the brightest crayon in the box anymore.

I am considered intelligent by those around me, and I even see that my family has a certain intelligence about it ----- but though we have some level of intelligence, we also have some level of disability and thinking problems.

And that's just life I guess.

I just feel maybe people expect more out of me than I'm probably capable of providing.

Anyway - yeah -- nice to have some time to meet up with an old classmate. Yay.

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