Well, I was laying in bed this morning telling myself how much I've lost any hope or chance to attain LDS Celestial Exaltation or anything as such, and then I used my ipad to check download and sales reports.
When I was checking my Amazon report, I found out that yesterday or last night someone downloaded The Book of Finch from amazon.com.
So, as I always do I go to amazon.com to check my sales rank::: but this time as I entered amazon.com I was overcome by a great thought telling me that I have one new review --- before I was able to see the review status on my book.
Yup::: despite having lost any hope of celestial exaltation, my mind experienced precognition anyway, where I'm aware of something true before I see it with any of my regular 5 senses.
Anyway, the new review (the 6th review on amazon.com) is 3 star, and the reviewer just says they "Don't know where this came from".
That wasn't too hard to read. I guess I'm just a 3 star kind of guy, and well, though it's not much of a review, I guess he's saying he doesn't know me or doesn't know calgary, or maybe it's in reference to Calgary 8th Ward which doesn't exist anymore.
As for my current position on the church::: I guess I am still capable of feeling good and positive about mormonism, especially as I've experienced wondrous things with that church----
but it's also not hard for me to see heavy and deep flaws in the organization. That combined with my own flaws and a historical unwillingness of the church to forgive those, and well, even with my wondrous testimony I'm not too interested anymore and the most I think about the church is mostly just my own psychological problems, trying to deal with it.
And, as I've said, I think I've lost whatever opportunity I may have ever had to attain that Celestial Exaltation. I'm done.