Saturday, August 30, 2014

That Whole Job Thing

So --- a few days have passed.

I can see the people of one country seem very interested in my blog.

I know that if I were to apply for a job there - or anywhere really, I would want a partner/companion, and it makes most sense to have a female companion - a wife.

But, even though I am attracted to women, I can just see myself not being particularly keen in anyone I meet, no interest in actually pursuing a relationship anywhere. I am actually just really-really comfortable with where I am in life.

It was clear for a while that those "God feelings" or "God ideations" appeared to be making me brave enough and gave me a desire to actually want to apply for a job---

but those feelings have worn off, and as my experience dictates I have a high probability of failure when it comes to changing my lifestyle to involve a real job. I get too stressed out, or the feeling of "I want to work" was only just a passing whim that doesn't stay.

So, I'm comfortable where I am in life now, and if I were to move elsewhere I would want someone else with me, but I am very introverted and have little interest in finding anyone even if I am attracted.

I apologize for raising hopes, but it was that "God feeling" that raised hopes, not really my own conscious choice.

Despite "God feelings" of trying to get me to work, I see so many ways in which I could fail, and I'm not sure it's worth trying or wasting people time or energy.

I'm happy that people think I could be hired to work --- but even just recently I was having emotional difficulty dealing with, and therefore I am probably still somewhat disabled.

Sorry, We'll see if anything comes along or what happens though.

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