I spent the evening wondering how the bishop of the LDS church could demand that I forgive my ballerinagirl but then demand that we not talk to each other anymore:::
to explain, in "The Miracle of Forgiveness" by Spencer W Kimball, Kimball says that when you sincerely forgive someone you restore your previous compatibility with them and essentially maintain your friendship.
The Bishop told me to forgive (maintain compatibility) but to not talk to her anymore (because we're still incompatible).
It really confused me how a respected Bishop of the LDS church who cannot be criticized would instruct me to engage in an INSINCERE forgiveness of someone I loved, and insincere forgiveness is seriously frowned upon by the Lord.
I also thought about how I'll probably never get married unless I manage to make a small fortune::: I don't have enough money to have a family of my own so getting married aint an option for me ---- and then I thought about how hypocritical the LDS church is because they claim "Love one another" but then they spend 10% of their money on tithing and they demand my 10% and my whole lifetime of devotion, but they can't even be bothered to each give me a buck or two for a book I wrote.
The only way I could really afford a family at this point in my life is if enough people just each paid the small fee for one of my products. And the LDS church, with all their demands of devotion and 10% tithing, can't be bothered to pay that small fee.
BUT ANYWAY --- THE STRANGE LIGHT-------
After I finished thinking about those things, I then lay in bed, watching youtube videos on my iPad. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a light in my bedroom. I looked over, and I saw that an old computer I don't use anymore was Illuminated --- My old computer was actually a bright light in the darkness.
How can I explain this?? It's just so strange what I saw. My room was dark. My computer was in the darkness. But it was glowing. I saw a light emanating from my old computer - as though it were some magical force.
At the time I was looking at it glow, I thought, "gee that is really strange. But I might just assume there's a natural cause for that". But, after a little while, without explanation or warning, my computer just STOPPED glowing. It had lit up for no explanable reason, something I had never seen before, and then after a while of looking at it the light suddenly disappeared.
I guess I might as well explain that this old computer is a 2006 model mac pro that is not hooked up to electricity and no monitor mouse or keyboard either, and it's just sitting on my table. And the whole side, the whole metal-plated side of the computer, was lit up brightly, all by itself, self-illuminated, light from who knows where.
And I can not deny this experience because I know that is what I saw.
And if it has anything to do with God, or even possibly the LDS church, who knows.
And, strangely enough, I do not feel frightened.
There you go. REAL FREAKIN' MAGIC. MY MAC PRO IS A GLOWY HUNK OF METAL NOW -- LIKE TOTALLY RADIOACTIVE OR SOMETHING.
And to be clear::: I am not making this up -- I am being totaly 100% honest about what I saw.