Monday, July 14, 2014

Girl Problems (More reasons why I may not get married)

When I think about my life - I realize I may have a very difficult time finding a wife.

OK - lets assume I didn't fall into a dismal pit of despair and become "schizophrenic". My sadness and mental health issues are one reason why I might not find a wife, but let's pretend that never happened so:

Reasons I couldn't get married even if I'm not schizophrenic::::

Growing up, in school, in church, wherever I did anything, I followed the scout promise::: "I promise to do my best".

I was a real hotshot. Maybe I wasn't much to look at, as I have some physical imperfections, but I had a very, very powerful brain.

I was a patrol captain, a valedictorian, top average grade award, 100% math final exam, 98% chemistry final exam - so on and so forth, I was a real hotshot.

Even though I'm not sure I noticed it all, in a few ways I could tell girls liked me.

So, when I tried to select one girl who I wanted to marry, and this is possible to happen over and over again, there may be some feelings of jealousy towards the girl I like over "why does she get him and not me??" --- I was so smart it was attractive, and you might get a few other girls who are jealous of the one girl I would choose.

That is possibly a reason I can't marry --- feelings of jealousy and resentment may pop up over how I chose one girl and no one else can have Mr. Hotshot.


There were a few girls at church and school who I realized liked me. And then there was Avril Lavigne on the other side of Canada who came along as well.

Me, growing up poor and not really having the time or facilities to date every interested female, well, I made the mistake of just being interested in one girl --- other girls got ignored, and maybe there was just some jealousy, and I became broken hearted. For this reason I can't be married.

I probably should have been dating everyone who may have been interested so no one felt left out --- but like I said, I grew up poor and I didn't have the resources. To me, it just seemed like a good idea to date, fall in love with, and marry one girl. I did not suspect that jealousy would be an issue.

But - it's possible jealousy was never the issue. But it might've been ---- I know there were at least two other girls at church who liked me, maybe three, and I had my heart set on another girl entirely. Jealousy.

So --- maybe all the interested girls just block each other out and I never get anyone.

And then I become heartbroken and brain-broken and then I never find love anyway. Hmm.

At this point in my life I feel OK with not marrying, but there was a time when I was very interested in getting married and being in love and doing the best I could. Oh well.

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