Friday, April 11, 2014

Flip flopping - Praying about it

You know in the book "Animal Farm" by George Orwell where the pigs (the leaders of the farm) Napoleon and Snowball would stand in front of the animals and debate the future of the farm in a democratic fashion?

In the book, most of the animals are unable to decide between the two leading parties, and they just agree with whoever happens to be speaking at the time.

Unfortunately, despite growing up top of my class in school and being very opinionated, I guess I validly lost my mind, because in the "mormon-christian debate" I find myself agreeing with whoever is speaking at the time.

I can be this way because I understand logical arguments, and in my own life I have evidences that are both pro-mormon and evidences that don't look kindly upon the church.

In the last General Conference, President Boyd K Packer pretty much stated that he's seen Jesus Christ. If this is true, then perhaps the LDS church is a truthy, although imperfect, organization. The only other option is that Boyd K Packer is a complete liar and the church should be rejected at all costs.

I know I have some mentalist ability, although it often doesn't work as well as one would hope. Therefore, when I pray to God and get an answer, I'm not always certain the responses are 100% accurate.

After I ate breakfast this morning, I bowed my head and asked God to answer three questions. Here are the questions and answers:

Q) Is Thomas S Monson really the true prophet?
A) Yes

Q) Is The Book of Mormon a true and accurate history of ancient americans?
A) No

Q) Was The Book of Mormon truly translated from a set of Gold Plates?
A) Yes

Now --- there are some problems with my method of asking God about this::: a) The answer seems inconsistent and b) when I was in my bedroom praying to know about things like this, the answers didn't seem to be the same.

It is possible that when I pray to God and He responds that "He" is not actually God, but actually just the closest spirit able to answer. Or I am crazy.

I do not deny that when I received my LDS patriarchal blessing that I saw the vision and I know that parts of the blessing even started to come true. That is pro-mormon evidence.

I know that Dallin H Oaks and Gerald Causse appeared to answer questions I asked only in prayer to God from church pulpits. That's pro-mormon evidence.

My biggest complaint about Mormonism is just a general "stupidity" that appears among leadership and therefore the membership as well.

I mean, there is no denying it::: LDS leadership is not very good quality, and then you aren't even allowed to say that about it even if it's true. There is obviously something wrong.

But, prayers do sometimes indicate some kind of "truth" to the church, and there are miraculous or magical-like experiences that seem to indicate the church could be "true".

And everyone hates it when I think about this, no one wants me to obsess about these things anymore.

I wish I could just stop myself from talking about this things, thinking about these things. Part of the time I like the church and the other part I despise it. I really shouldn't think about these things anymore. It's like I'm addicted to the "mormon-christian debate".

Whatever the case, regardless of whether the LDS church is true or false, I don't expect my Patriarchal Blessing to fully come true. I should be finished with the whole thing now. Ugh.

No comments:

Post a Comment